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June 06, 2006
an incomplete report of my dept so far
i got a present the other day, 10 Kyat from someone i know who works at a Chinese restaurant i go to sometimes down the road from my kampung. he wanted to give it to me since it has a picture of General Aung San, the leader of the Burmese resistance movement against the British, whose daughter is now under house arrest in Myanmar and is the leader of the resistance movement against the current regime. of course, despite have numerous lectures on Myanmar's political history just last semester, still couldn't remember Aung San's name until i looked it up on the internet later (here's a wikipedia article about him by the way, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aung_San)
i just gave him a lame postcard (i'd already run out of one dollar bills, and anyway George Washington is not quite as close to my heart as i'm sure Aung San is to my friend from Myanmar.) it had a picture of some trees in michigan, snow covered, but, as far as i know, without any significant political history
anyway, its one of my favorite gifts so far, which, although i've only been here for a few weeks is saying quite a lot, since it seems like everyone i meet wants to give me a present. for example, last wednesday i got to go with one of the families from the kampung i've been staying at to their cousin's engagement. engagement's here are nothing like in the US, the whole family and extended family is involved. when i was picked up by my friends from the kampung in the morning a cake was immediately placed on my lap, as every adult in the car with the exception of the driver had to be responsible for at least one cake, which were used later as "hantaran", or gifts given at the engagement from the girl's family to the boy's. the boy's entire family is also involved, arriving in the afternoon, at which time the two fathers discuss when the wedding will be and how much the boy's family is going to give to the girl's family to pay for the wedding. usually the couple has already talked about this and told their parents, but they still make a big deal about the discussion, doing things like renting microphones so that everyone can hear whats going on. after that the hantaran are exchanged (both families bring gifts, although the girl's family always has to give at least two more) and the boy's mother (he has been sitting alone at his house this whole time) goes into the girl's room and puts the engagement ring on her finger, while all the relatives take hundreds and hundreds of pictures
the party lasted all day, however i, again, despite having had the opportunity to learn this lesson at nearly every house i've been to here, had not brought extra cloths to change into after showering, which people here do at least 2-3 times a day since it's so hot, whether or not you're at your own house at the proper showering times. instead of just letting me change back into my old cloths, the girl's aunt invited me over to her house nearby where she went through her closet until she found an outfit for me, baju kurung, which isn't cheap and wasn't necessary since the formal part of the party was over and plenty of people were changing into casual outfits. i kept telling her that it was alright and that she didn't need to worry about it, which she kept replying to with "don't worry, its new!" when i finally told her that i just felt bad about borrowing her cloths and making her go through all the trouble she told me that she wanted to give me a gift, making it the 4th baju kurung outfit i've been given so far, and the 8th article of clothing in general. and that time i didn't even have anything as stupid as a postcard to give her
possibly my favorite gift, though, even better than the 10 Kyat, is from, i guess my Nenek angkat (Nenek, in Penang, means great-grandmother, so she is the mother of the person i call Tuk--grandmother, and a title used for older women--and the grandmother of the woman i call Mak Cik--auntie, and a title used for women to old to call "sister" and not old enough to call Tuk. Angkat, when talking about a person or a family, means adopted). last Friday and Saturday i got to go to another kenduri (sort of means party, but more serious and with more ceremony--it's the Malay version of a slametan for people who know a little about Javanese culture. so the engagement "party" was actually an engagement kenduri). this time it was for a perkawinan, or wedding. friday night, when everyone came over to the brides family's house for dinner after the official wedding ceremony at the mosque, and while the bride was busy changing into elaborate outfits from Thailand, Java, India, and a bunch of other countries from all over the world to get her picture taken (one of the wedding traditions here, at least for Malay families in Penang, i'm not sure about other ethnicities or other states), her Tuk, my Nenek angkat, offered to put inai (henna) on my fingers. the adat (tradition) is for only married woman and the bride to wear inai, but people don't really follow that much anymore, so at this wedding most of the girl cousins who were old enough to sit still for the hour or so you have to wait for it to dry were wearing it. the next day the girl watching the desk at the hotel complimented me on my inai and asked me how much it had cost. when i told her that i got it for free from the grandmother of the bride at the wedding i went to last night i guess i felt pretty besar hati about it ("besar hati" literally translated means "big liver" or "big heart", but the saying "besar hati" means something like proud, but a good kind. i think at least, i've also heard people use it to mean generous, so if anyone who knows Malay better than i do wants to correct my use of this phrase feel free)
actually though, this is maybe not quite my favorite gift. my favorite gift came from my friends who work at the restaurant in KL. sometimes, right before the restaurant closed they would make a little food to take home for dinner, and one day when they knew i didn't have anyone to "jalan-jalan" with later they made an extra bungkus (packet, in this case it means food wrapped up in a banana leaf or wax paper and newspaper) of nasi lemak for me, and the woman there who i address as Kakak (sister, what you call women older than you but too young to be called Mak Cik) gave me the first mango that i had in Malaysia
Posted by diparker at June 6, 2006 07:48 AM