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May 07, 2008
marriage counseling
When it comes to marriage counseling, I am on the fence. In a lot of instances, it would probably be beneficial. But there are also those situations where, you are just delaying the inevitable. By the time most couples seek marriage help, it is too late. I think the moment you realize you are having marriage problems, take it seriously. Especially if there are children involved.
My parents had a rough relationship my whole childhood, but they stayed together, miserable, and not realizing how it affected us. Then when I turn 18 and move out, get married- they decide to get a divorce. So twenty years of screwing around, and then you decide to make a change. It Doesn’t make sense. Meanwhile I have a skewed view of what to expect out of a marriage and what to give in return. I am just making it up as I go along. Then you add in the same type situation on my husband’s side- what then? We both have screwed up examples from our parents.
The way I look at it, if you decide someone is right enough for you, that you want to marry them, I would advise making it clear that you will be open to marriage counseling should any problems arise. If you are going to spend your lives together, and most likely create new ones in the process….make it enjoyable. It is just like home owners who live in their crappy, outdated house for years. When it comes time to sell, they make all the upgrades they always wanted in order to sell it. They could’ve done it sooner and enjoyed them themselves, and possibly not wanted to sell.
The bottom line is, don’t be too proud to admit you are wrong, or that you need help. If you were willing to marry someone, you owe it to yourself and your spouse to do whatever necessary to make it work. It is the one thing in your life that should be worth that. In the long run, you will appreciate the fact that you are working at your marriage, and not just throwing the towel in when things get tough. It doesn’t matter who you live with, you are bound to have turmoil. So at least this time you have the benefit of loving each other. You will also find a new sense of appreciation for your spouse.
Posted by juliusp at May 7, 2008 10:59 AM