April 10, 2008
Watch me be funny
Three years of sending Shmooze e-mails and I have finally achieved the ultimate goal: hosting the end-of-the-year Hillel Gala (7 p.m. for the senior dinner and 8 p.m. for everybody else).
Yeah, running the world's greatest kugel-cooking competition is awesome. And having Ralph Williams speak to us about Jews in Shakespeare was outstanding. Even raising thousands of dollars for Relay for Life was pretty good. But that was all a means to the end: hosting the gala.
I finally get my chance tomorrow. Aside from an appearance as Ching (the Chinese passenger with three lines in Anything Goes [the director told me not to sing during the chorus scenes and excused me from some of the dances]), this will be my first performance. A side note: everybody told me I stole the show.
But this will allow me to present original material, not something Cole Porter wrote in the 1930s. I've written the material (with my co-host Amira), and I plan on laughing my ass off the entire time. You should plan on doing the same. People who have heard the jokes have tried to describe them at "shmooze e-mail-esque" but they've been too busy laughing to get those words out.
On the subject of conflicts with season premiers of television shows and Frozen Four hockey games, I have a possible solution. I will DVR the game at my house. People can come back to my house after the gala to watch the game. I also learned I can record two shows at once. We could watch The Office and/or Scrubs at intermission (unless you have already made plans to watch it at 517 Elm).
Shmooze E-mail Banter
Yesterday, I sent out an e-mail declaring my dominance in the "cook anything you want as long as it contains zucchini and is pareve or milchig" challenge. While the suspect voting strategy might have declared the event a draw between Chudnow's zucchini pizza and my zucchini hash, I declared victory.
And I know suspect voting strategies when I see them. I'm the guy who claims to be a co-champion of the first kugel-off even though the total number of toothpicks probably totaled more than triple the attendance. I feel like I have enough experience in illegitimate elections I could be an election observer in Russia (Boom! Take that, Putin).
Either way, why overdramatic and slightly sarcastic championship-claiming e-mail was not well received by all members of the Shmooze community — namely the "co-champions" Chudnow. Below is the e-mail I sent out to the Shmooze Club followed by the response e-mail he sent out. Noah chipped it at the end with his take.
Two things to tell you:
1. Thanks for making Relay for Life so great
2. I am co-hosting the Hillel Gala Thursday. Come!
1. Relay recap
I apologize for the lack of a comprehensive Relay for Life recap. I have been too busy celebrating my championship in the "cook anything you want as long as it contains zucchini and is pareve or milchig" challenge.
Man, was that glorious? It was the first time we switched from a toothpick voting system into an applause-a-meter system. There might have been some confusion about how many people you can scream for and how the meter actually works, but it was pretty clear that I won.
But there was more to the Relay for Life event than me legitimately winning my first Shmooze cooking championship. I want to thank our team captain, Rachel. She did a great job making this year's Shmooze Relay for Life so memorable.
Just as Rachel did in her e-mail, I would like to thank everyone involved with making it such a success. I could got through this name by name but I wonder if you really want to read that.
There will be pictures up on the Shmooze blog from Relay for Life. So please go there and check it out.
2. Thursday night is the end-of-year Hillel Gala. I am co-hosting.
If you enjoy reading the Shmooze e-mails I have sent over the last few years, then you'll probably enjoy my shtick. So, please come to the Gala. For seniors, there is a dinner starting at 7 p.m. Everybody else should come at 8 p.m. (oh, you'll get more e-mails about this)
If you are worried about missing the Frozen Four hockey game because of the gala, fear not. I will arrange for a DVR to record the beginning of the game (starts at 9 p.m.). We can then proceed from the gala to the TV and watch the game. We should be able to catch up to real time, so you're evening plans won't be delayed.
Dearest Fellow Shmoozers,
I would like to clear up any misconception which might exist about the relay cookoff. While I personally believe that Ian's hash was far superior to my gourmet pizza, if one were to trust in the flawless "applause-o-meter," then the results clearly show a tie. I wish I could ignore this awful truth, but Ian, it was not a clear win.
Your co-winner of the shmooze semi-annual zucchini cookoff,
I don't want to get in the middle of this heated cookoff debate. However I am very worried about missing the most important television event this Thursday night has to offer whilst I attend the gala. It's not the Frozen 4, but rather, the glorious return of Scrubs at 9:30. Can DVR arrangements be made for this also? I'm kinda losing my mind.
April 08, 2008
Couch... Couch...Cow.. C. O. R.... Are you going to the mall later?
At its very essence what is the Shmooze Club about (besides the whole Jewish culture thing)?
Eating and shmoozing.
That is what makes Relay for Life the perfect Shmooze event. For 24 hours, we hang out on Palmer Field, shpatzirning (Yiddish for "to go for a walk"), sitting around, munching, nibbling, shesh-beshing, kibbutzing, and shmoozing.
More importantly, we raised $3,000 to support cancer research.
I don't want to say that we had the best setup of any team on the track because it would seem as if I'm not being modest. But it's the truth.
The couch that typically resides on my porch was transplanted track-side at Palmer Field.
Each year, we have a food competition the night of Relay for Life. In year's past, we held the Erasing Stereotypes: Passover Dessert Competition and a Cheesecake competition. This year's event was "Cook anything you want as long as it is contains zucchini and is pareve or milchig." We received five entries to the event: sauteed zucchini by Ari, zucchini pizza by Chud, zucchini ratatouille by Rachel, zucchini bread by David and Nate, and zucchini hash by Ian.
For our in-Relay fundraiser, we decided to open up the Shmooze Hotdog cart Saturday night. It was awesome, and the crowd reacted well to it. We sold over 100 dogs.
For the second year in a row, the Parrotheads team ran the Relay for Life jail. You pay the Parrotheads a certain amount of money to arrest your friend. The Parrotheats arreast your friend and put them in their prison. While in jail, your friend must raise bail equal to how much money was put up to get you in jail. We put Rachel in jail, and she made a friend.