February 12, 2008
I slipped outside during the final “staging” stage. I wanted to give the real stagers’ space to create their vision. I also wanted to see the finished product alongside our homeowner. I guess I wanted to experience it through her eyes as much as possible.
I know I may have mentioned a time or two why I tend to be quieter these days. After many years of blurting out exactly the wrong thing, I am prone to restraint. Sometimes still, words escape my mouth that I wish I could take back. I don’t really believe that utterances change things, but it is always disappointing when innocent, excitable words come back to me as a stinging slap.
As it got later, I had a nervous conversation with our team leaders. “Suppose she doesn’t make it here today? Suppose we can’t 'close' this project? Wouldn’t it be amazing if GOD left this one open ended?” Where we my thoughts? On the team and the members and how even though this week had awesomely changed some lives, some of us still needed more work to do. Some of us needed another reason to come back. Some of us were still on the brink of un-decision. I thought for some of us, the journey wasn’t as difficult as it should have been. That’s an awfully scary selfish place I sent us to, isn’t it?
We broke more rules. We waited past the NSDR recommended departure time for remote neighborhoods. Yes, there were 9 of us, but I was still nervous. Finally, we had no choice. It became painfully evident that we would not see Miss R. tonight before we left. Most likely, none of us would ever see her again.
At the last minute, instead of walking away, something more amazing happened. We started to wander into the house, one at a time, sometimes in pairs, or threesomes.
In a matter of minutes, we found ourselves gathering in an informal oval-ish group in Miss R's front room.
We blessed Miss R., that her life should be happy and full; that she should find herself quickly back in her house - and that it will be once again become the home she and her family had been missing.
We blessed each other: some outloud, some silently.
We asked for blessing for the finishers, since as it turned out, we were not going to be them.
We locked the doors, lingered sadly, then lumbered slowly, truly walking away open ended.
Posted by jaselin at February 12, 2008 07:53 PM