February 25, 2008
The Subtle Start
On October 1, 2006, my husband passed away. As I was approaching the first anniversary of Jeff’s death, I began to get more and more stressed. I felt like I was speeding toward a brick wall at 200 mph and knew darn well that nothing was going to keep me from slamming in to it.
Standing in the coffee hour line after church one Sunday, another widow friend of mine asked what I had planned to help myself cope during that anniversary. I told her I had planned to take that week off from work. I knew I was already having trouble keeping it together, and I pretty sure I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near work.
Jan then asked me which week it was I was taking. “The 1st through the 6th of October," I answered. “Oh!" she exclaimed, “You have the wrong week off!" I was pretty sure I had those dates right. Jeff passed away on the 1st and his funeral was held on the 6th. October 6th would have also been our 5th wedding anniversary.
Jan went on to explain how she and her son were planning to travel to New Orleans on a recovery/rebuilding trip from October 6th through October 14th. She suggested I travel with them. I did not hesitate to quickly, and emphatically, decline. I couldn’t take two weeks off from work. I didn’t want to be away from home. It just wasn’t going to happen. I wiped it from my mind.
Posted by jaselin at February 25, 2008 01:05 PM