jakorte's blog

Even as this mission was winding down, I remained embroiled in the throes of questions that not only could not be answered, but probably never will be answered. For the most part, I am peaceful with that. I can find comfort in recognizing the dichotomies of my life give me food for thought, thoughts for words, and words to share.

From my post-midnight, "I should be exhausted, but I'm not ready to sleep yet" journal scribbling:

March 22, 2008, 12:40 am; Franklin UMC, Franklin, TN.

Back to the highs: good music, good driving, good company. Why is this making me joyful?
Caffeine or companionship in Christ?
Bonding or past the point of caring?
The weather or the weathering?
The road or the journey?
Memories of who I was or the new realization of who I am?
Gauging the higher importance: loving or being loved?
Measuring un-measurable paths?
Relieved that I will be alone again or relieved that I am not alone just yet?
Not worrying about getting up or terrified to come down?
Speaking from the mind or writing from the heart?
Being chosen or choosing?

The last song I heard tonight: Nothing Else Matters, Metallica

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters.