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April 30, 2008

Greener, ME News, Vol. 1, Issue 9

Good morning, everyone.

Feels like we’re back to winter, but at least we’ve had some gorgeous sunshine. I guess, we’re all going to have to accept that it’s too early to wear our shorts and favorite sneakers outside on our mushy lawns, just yet. That just gives us a little more garden-planning time.

I know Earth Day and Earth Week were both last week, but we can still keep the eco-aware momentum going. As the earth in our area becomes greener and we’re gifted with the beautiful colors of spring, let’s remember to give our planet some respect and love, too. Recycling saves!

Have a wonderful week. Blessings always.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 03:13 PM | Comments (0)

April 29, 2008

The Electric Argument

A few years ago, I read an online article about ways to reduce electricity consumption. I was fascinated to learn that even appliances in the off mode could still be sucking up electricity. When I passed this information on to my husband, he guffawed. “Absolutely not true!"

I thought it was worth checking out, so I secretly unplugged some of our less used appliances. Must not have been so secretly, because the next day, all were mysteriously plugged back in. I unplugged them again, only to discover the phantom re-plugger had been ‘round the house, again.

A few months later, watching an episode of the TV show “Til Death," I laughed to see the very same issue addressed. Joy, of course, believed the electricity saving advice, and Eddie thought it was a farce. And, so began the plugging and unplugging.

It’s weird to see your life on TV. It’s also highly amusing.

Jeff and I never did resolve the electric argument. With all the unplugging and re-plugging, we never were able to prove a savings or not, one way or the other. Then, this month’s Reader’s Digest shows up, and guess what? The April 2008 edition, page 17, has a lovely little blurb about… Vampire Electricity.

If nothing else, at least unplugging all of those dormant appliances reduces the chances of a house fire… Who me, worry?

jak

Posted by jaselin at 07:56 PM | Comments (0)

intersession

April 29, 2008

I can’t believe in
intersession
When divine providence
disagrees
If pre-destination governs
life
Where does the asking
fit
Is that part of the
plan
That we should
ask
And yet believe that
outcomes
Are always what God
wants,
anyway.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 10:13 AM | Comments (0)

April 16, 2008

Putting it all Together

April 4, 2008

Sometimes the most painful journeys are also the most fondly remembered.

I am working on the next set of entries for my most recent mission trip. It is dually unnerving and comforting to relive the moments of confusion and clarity only because it is all now so removed from me.

I am back in my regular life, trying to hold on to the feeling of being held in the supportive embrace of a team. Trying to remember I am protected and walking with the LORD as I travel through my everyday maze.

Most days have highs and lows, and as I record the memories, it helps to note this. What I thought was a bad day is disputed in my own handwriting by notes of laughter and friendship. As it is a personal journal, I need to make sure I understand my journey before I offer it out to others.

I have to find the right way of putting it all together before I will be comfortable releasing any of it. So bear with me. I'll be there soon.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 07:30 AM | Comments (0)

Reservations and Anticipations

Friday, March 14, 2008

Getting In The Car for my second mission trip was way more challenging than the first time. The first time, I felt I was answering an obvious calling. The second time, I had concerns, fears, reservations and anticipations. I had work issues to deal with, financial issues to deal with, plus the regular usual waffling issues I deal with every day.

There was no God-smack, but there was still the pull. I knew I wanted in, but I couldn’t clearly tell if it was the right thing for me to be doing at this particular point in my life. I couldn’t stand the thought of a team being down there working without me, but feared that a smaller group would require greater work skills than I had. I worried about being more of a burden than a help.

I was also concerned about the group size. Going from my first mission group experience with 49 volunteers, to this group of 14 volunteers was bound to be different. I was thankful for the anonymity last time, and not so sure how I felt about the potential lack of it this time. I imagined it would be harder to remain anonymous in such a small group. I expected I could learn a lot more about others’ faith, as well.

I just couldn’t make up my mind. Yes, I do realize that I should never have been trying to decide what it was that I wanted, in the first place. I truly desired GOD to lead me, but I hadn’t heard anything in so long that I began to really worry. Maybe that one message was it. Maybe I wasn’t going to get another one.

So, there was my dilemma. Do I continue to act upon it, and hope for the best, or do I wait for something remarkable to set me in motion?

Nothing remarkable happened. So, after a while, I decided that was my answer. GOD was giving me the freedom to do this on my own, without any smacking or signs. Was I willing to continue to answer, without continually being asked?

Yes, I was.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 07:24 AM | Comments (0)

Commonalities

Saturday, March 15, 2008

When you join a mission group, or any focused group, you become aware of an important unspoken commonality. We know we are bound together before we even get to know one another. It does not matter how we received our callings. It only matters that we each answered it at this particular time, and are now a team. We all have a common purpose. We are all on the same journey.

There is always some to-be-expected awkward shyness that occurs when strangers are grouped together. Luckily, there are also those who are less than shy. They excitedly interview other group members, and happily share their own stories. It’s hard not to get deeply and quickly involved when you are faced with someone’s direct enthusiasm about your participation. And, as I suspected, it was going to be harder to remain anonymous in such a small group.

Everywhere we went from restaurants along the way to Franklin UMC in Tennessee, everyone helped everyone else. Everyone lent a hand. No one complained about where they sat or in which vehicle. No one complained about restaurant service, or having to wait for use of the restrooms. No one complained when an extra rest stop was requested. No one complained about which radio station was listened to. No one complained about carrying someone else’s bag, or setting up someone else’s bed. We were all on the same team, answering the same calling, and invested in the cause.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 07:22 AM | Comments (0)

Used Cows and Musicals

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Anticipation makes me very antsy, and most times very, very early.

I arrived in Dundee at the arranged pick-up sight about 20 minutes before the GITC caravan was expected. For me, this was not very, very early. While nervously waiting, I received a phone call letting me know that the team was running behind.

Recognizing a familiar mission theme, I flexed! My friend and I made a quick stop at restaurant, grabbed a bite to eat, and some coffee. The coffee was absolutely necessary, because I wasn’t feeling nearly hyper enough already.

Once on the road, I had the chance to learn about my fellow travelers. Where they were from, how many mission trips they’d been on, their families, and what type of music they preferred. Even though we were different ages, the first vehicle all agreed that show tunes were the bomb. So, that is what we listened to for quite a while, in between singing along and excitedly talking.

On road trips, my mind has a tendency to wander into strange places. I frequently find myself making up songs in my head about everything I’m seeing. As the scenery went by, I found myself contemplating what a musical based on a GITC mission trip would be like. When I focused my eyes on the view again, I saw the most beautiful farm. Pristine barns, grazing cattle, gently rolling green dales, and the blue skies of Kentucky were the backdrop for a gorgeous sign announcing “Sullivan Farms.‿

Then I noticed that a newer, equally well-done sign had been added below the Sullivan Farms title section. I laughed out loud as I read: “Used Cows for Sale." My husband tried to teach me everything he knew about dairy farming, but that’s just something that never got covered. So, I am still wondering exactly what the term “Used Cow" refers to.

Which leads me to share these additional road-scribbled thoughts:
How am I going to work a song about used cows into “GITC: The Mission Musical?"
I wonder how it would go over if I renamed the project “GITC: The Mission Moo-sical?"
I’m still working on the lyrics, but so far I just haven’t felt moo-ved by the right Verses.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 07:20 AM | Comments (0)

The Best Reunion

Sunday, March 16, 2008

It’s really hard to cram nine years into less than an hour. It’s like a Madeleine L’Engle tesseract. I’ve jumped from old, to new, back to old. It’s impossible to briefly fill in that gap or completely explain the nuances of lives lived.

There are people you hold onto, maybe not tightly, but continually. These are the friends you think of almost daily. Friends you never let go, even though time may go by more quickly than we ever imagined. I have a few of those. It seems everywhere I’ve lived I’ve managed to pick up one near-sister friend of the soul.

Changing directions throughout my life, I left each one behind physically, but never emotionally. Connecticut, Massachusetts, Florida, New York, New Jersey, Ireland, Tennessee, and Michigan – you know who you are. As sisters, we easily jump continuums of time and find ourselves no further apart than we ever were. In some cases we find that we are that much closer, even though so many things occurred without me, or without you.

I still think of your daughter as a 4 year-old. I missed the passing of your Mom. You missed the passing of my Dad. You never got to meet my husband. We’ve missed celebrating our career changes. We’ve missed birthdays, and seasons. We’ve changed jobs, changed our hair styles, and changed our outlooks on life. Some things, like our age and eyeglass prescriptions, have been changed without our consent.

In between placing orders and sipping coffee, there were so many reunion questions to ask. And so many more that didn’t get asked. But more important than that, I just loved sitting across from you; talking, laughing, crying, sharing.

I’d like to say that I don’t know what kept me away from you all this time, but that’s not entirely true. Pain, embarrassment, pride, selfishness, fear all top the list. Things like vanity and denial are prominent on that list, too.

I realize that the paths we’ve taken have all been for good reasons. Although, I still mourn the missing years, I will embrace the joy of looking forward. I want more talking, laughing, crying and sharing, and I want it to continue for a very, very long time.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 07:15 AM | Comments (0)

Passing It On

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Our reunion conversation flew from topic to topic, and we started discussing my new encouragement adventures in email and blogs. I mentioned that what surprised me back home in Michigan was finding out that my little NOLA Flexibility Series had more readers than subscribers. It turns out that people were passing it on to their friends and family in a ripple effect. I have no idea how many people were following my flexibility trials, but it really perked me up to know that the ones I sent it to, were passing it on.

That’s when I received another beautiful surprise. She had been passing it on to other people who know me, or perhaps more accurately, people who knew me. I never considered that a possibility. Not that there is anything wrong with it. I actually love it!

I truly believed that once I left Nashville, I was gone for good. There’s an air of dispensability in the business. There’s always someone ready to take your place. Always waves of incoming newcomers with fresher ideas. All this time, I’ve been thinking I’m probably not even a memory. And now, it seems through "passing it on" some folks have been getting to know me again. Wow. That opened up my heart and let out a long held, big, fierce, unwavering smile.

Thanks.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 07:10 AM | Comments (0)

Doors

Sunday, March 16, 2008

With just a few moments left of our reunion hour, we began to hurriedly speak of friends and mutual acquaintances. For the most part it sounded as if those common to us were doing very well, enjoying their careers and families.

But there was one person I had lost track of, one person whom I considered a real friend. Someone who had once done me a great favor…. So the outcome, or the ending, of her life was shocking to the point of unfathomable. I know I gasped, but I don’t think the conversation hesitated. I asked one question, and was satisfied with the answer.

I was still happy when we said goodbye. Still smiling inside and out at the amount of fun and love we could cram into such a short time. The combination of the sound of the car door closing, and then the sound of the tires rolling away suddenly left me in a lonely place. I realized as I walked away that the long-closed door to my past had been flung wide open, and that unless I dealt with the past and the present, the door to the future would remain locked.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 07:05 AM | Comments (0)

Palms, Grace, Tears and Comfort

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Still stunned, I made my way back into our host church, found my GITC team, and took the last seat on the aisle. I didn’t know the young man I was sitting next to except by first name. My mind was working on a plan.

Children filed by me, dressed up and smiling, waving palms. It was Palm Sunday, and I was unable to focus on the significance of the day. I was unable to read the bulletin through my threatening tears. I stood silently listening to others singing in praise. Then, despite the state of my whirling, distracted mind, I heard the recognizable melody and words of “Amazing Grace.�

That is when the tears began. I have this silly issue with tears. I hate to draw attention to myself, especially when I am emotional. My theory, which has failed me many times before, is that if I do not swipe at my eyes, perhaps no one will notice that I am crying.

So, I remained still, letting the tears roll down my cheeks, and land on my shirt. When we sat down, I do what I always do when I am attempting to make sense. I took out my journal, and began jotting down notes. The tears didn’t stop, and more than once the young man next to me turned to look at me. I did my best to avoid eye contact, but finally it happened, anyway.

I must have looked as desolate as I felt, because suddenly there was an arm around my shoulders, patting my back. It was like an air stream had opened up and cleared a space for me to breathe in. It actually was worse to think that soon I wasn’t going to be alone in this anymore. I realized that I did not want to bring this burden to this team. I wasn’t willing to share it, and I wasn’t willing to lay it down.

The tears didn’t stop right away, but by the end of the service, they had. No longer willing to let my emotions control me, I had made my decision. This trip was over for me. I was going home.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 07:00 AM | Comments (0)

Saving Me, Losing Her

Sunday, March 16, 2008

I cannot speak to the rumors. I cannot speak to the truth, either. All I can do is offer this glimpse of who she was in my life.

Even if I could have imagined anyone in my life would have been driven to suicide, I would have never have imagined it to be her. I loved her because she so loved life. I am at a loss to even begin to understand what I know nothing of. And I have now, that regret of ignorance.

Ten years ago, I was in Las Vegas on a business trip. She and I shared a hotel room, and her sunny enthusiasm for everything amazed me. I asked her how she did it. She said she just felt that way, didn’t I? I honestly told her, “No. When I go to bed at night, I don’t really care if I wake up in the morning. When I do wake up in the morning, I think, ok, I’ve guess got another day to deal with."

She made me open my wallet, take out my insurance card, and call the Mental Health Hotline listed on the back. I ended up making an appointment to see a counselor when I returned home.

Seeing that counselor is partly how I decided to seek a different route and leave the situation I was in. It’s part of how I got to Michigan, and how I ended up meeting my husband. This friend gave me the gift of a loving life with Jeff, and through him, the gift of knowing the LORD.

I’m a little ticked off right now. I’m not sure if I am brave enough to admit that I am ticked off at GOD, but why couldn’t he have given me the desire to reconnect sooner? I am more than willing to be angry with her and with myself; each for letting the other fade away from the friendship, and myself for what I will now miss.

I feel like I am standing at a familiar door, staring at a well-known lock. I know am holding the correct key, but I don’t have a clue how to use it.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:59 AM | Comments (0)

Bags and Baggage

Sunday, March 16, 2008

So, I got slammed on the way down. Hard. Hurtful. Painful. I decided to take myself off this trip.

Earlier in the morning on Sunday, as the luggage from our Franklin over-night was re-packed away in the truck, only one bag did not fit in. That one bag was mine.

It got put into the Jeep I was traveling in, and I took that as a sign. I had my bag. I could break away easily and quickly. My luggage became my temptation. I had to compress my lips tightly to not ask to be dropped off at a roadside diner so I could call a taxi to the airport and take my angry, sad, disillusioned, miserable, alone self back to Michigan and admit my failures. There hadn’t even been enough room for my real luggage, so I doubted there would be room for this new additional baggage I was carrying.

I began to believe that the struggles I had to overcome to even join this particular March mission in the 1st place, had been GOD trying to tell me that I wasn’t supposed to do this.

Every gas stop and every rest stop, I frantically dialed phone numbers in secrecy, searching for a reasonable flight from Louisiana home. The airlines were not being reasonable, at all. Much like the travelers in Trains, Planes and Automobiles, I considered desperate alternatives. Unfortunately, neither, trains or buses would get me home any quicker than staying the rest of the week in Slidell, and they weren’t that inexpensive, either.

I struggled Sunday and all day Monday in all kinds of ways; mentally, physically, spiritually.

By Tuesday, I was suddenly so busy that I couldn’t afford to put any energy towards leaving, or struggling.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:58 AM | Comments (0)

Praying / Prying

Monday, March 17, 2008 1:00 am. I woke up praying. I woke up needing to write.

“Dear GOD, I’m still not 100% sure who you are or where you, but I know now, without a doubt, that you know who I am and exactly where I am."

This is what I needed: a wake-up call. The reminder that I must give up all control. Go where I am lead on a daily basis; not just for a few weeks throughout the year.

In order to do that, I need intangible confidence in you. It’s when I consider confidence in tangibles that my mind refuses to let go. Logic is so closely connected to control. The requirements of order and routine in my universe are always in the forefront.

So, perhaps, the call to mission work is a gentle breaking-in. A persistent prying that moves my fingers from the reins in short spurts, conditioning my ever-whirling mind to allow me to practice the freedom of having nothing to hold on to. Allowing me to drift in whichever way the LORD takes me. Showing me I should lay down my fears and step over them; step past them. Showing me the flow in the current, promising I will be safe there.

Even as I write these words, I cannot completely fathom the entire message of the power that moved me tonight. Maybe now that it has surged, I can find some peace before morning.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:57 AM | Comments (0)

Orientation Morning 1

March 17, 2008

Louisiana United Methodist Disaster Recovery Ministry is a nonprofit agency that is helping clients rebuild their homes and their lives. Working out of Aldersgate United Methodist Church in Slidell, the organization’s mission is to “Stay in St. Tammany until everyone who needs help because of Hurricane Katrina has received it."

On Monday mornings, new groups of approximately 250 volunteers, mostly from the United States and Canada, arrive for orientation and work assignments.

During orientation, we learned that Slidell, Louisiana is considered to be 85% recovered from the damage inflicted by Hurricane Katrina. It is estimated that more than 90% of the reconstruction in the area has been done by volunteer labor.

Why is the recovery rate in Slidell so much higher than New Orleans, which is presently considered to be somewhere between 5% - 8% recovered? Concentrating on areas further inland, the logical idea was to repair lesser damaged areas to serve as base for other more severely damaged areas.

It’s similar to what occurs when a real wound begins to heal. Supplied with the necessary elements, and a healthy environment, the outer, less damaged edges of the skin begin to slowly repair themselves. As repair and regeneration occurs, the area of the wound decreases. The repaired areas are now better able to support the veins and capillaries of the growing skin.

And, it seems to be working. Slidell is an active, working community. As businesses have been reestablished, the economic income and populations have been restored. As the population is restored, more businesses and schools are returning. It’s quite a cycle. Much like skin repair, you won’t necessarily be able to see it as it happens, but we’ve already been able to look back and see how far we’ve all come.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:56 AM | Comments (0)

Orientation Morning 2

March 17, 2008

Imagine this: 350 volunteers in one room, standing in one big circle, praying for a good week. Praying for safety, patience, love for each other, good weather, overcoming fears, and whatever else comes to mind. 350 people!

Even more amazing: This particular week, from March 16 through March 22, 2008, the North Shore Disaster Recovery Center gymnasium had to accommodate two separate orientations. Approximately 700 UM volunteers showed up for this one week of mission work in Slidell, Louisiana.

Now, consider this: This combined group of 700 is made up of many smaller groups. Some groups have 4 people, some have 14 or more. Some groups come from a single church, some groups come with volunteers from many churches, and some groups from corporations or colleges.

The administrative building at Aldersgate UMC is prepared to display up to 16 flags at any one time. Each working volunteer group has the honor of seeing their state flag flown during their stay. If you are with a college group or a company, and you are able to provide them with your flag, they’ll be happy to fly that, too. It gives volunteers a sense of recognition that they have traveled far to be there – not only physically but mentally. It makes us feel that they know who we are, even with so many abundant bodies, like this week.

Even more importantly, it gives the community a sense of continued hope. They drive by the flags, gaze up and see who has come to help them this week. They want to see the states, colleges, companies who are there to serve. They want to know us.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:54 AM | Comments (0)

Orientation Morning 3

March 17, 2008

Following orientation, the teams spilled out into the parking lot. The leaders stayed behind to gather assignments, directions, and specifics. They learned about the home sites and the home owners.

As the teams outside gathered near their vehicles, we talked with the other groups around us, and learned a little about them. When we finally did hear our assignment, there needed to be some commitments made. Our team statistics were 4 men and 10 women, 2 of whom could be considered youth. Our construction skills were assessed to be on the low side, except for a few more experienced members. Based on that, we wondered and speculated aloud what sort of an assignment we would end up with.

We got a roof.

There’s an interesting picture out there on the GITC website that shows exactly what happens when a leader shouts; “Hands up! Who’s willing to go on a roof?" There were a couple of us standing around with our hands planted firmly on our hips. We became the “ground crew." That was alright with me.

The neighborhood we worked in appeared deceptively recovered. From the outside, everything looked fine. Most of the homes were brick, the lawns were nicely kept, and many had new roofs. But, when you really looked again, you noticed the FEMA trailers in the driveways all up and down the streets. You noticed that some of the homes were still empty. The neighborhood seemed eerily quiet, and deserted except for occasional mockingbird calls or squirrel chatter.

The quietness rolled away in the late afternoons as children returned to their homes from school and residents returned from their jobs. This was a huge change from neighborhood I worked in last October. At that home site there was no afternoon, early evening buzz. There were no birds or squirrels, just quiet emptiness occasionally interrupted by a hammer knock or saw whine.

It’s hard to describe the feelings that ran through me as I realized that this was a real neighborhood. Yes, from the outside everything looked good, but on the inside many homes were not repaired yet. Yes, the neighborhood, the homes, and the hearts in this neighborhood still needed work, but people are living and working and surviving here. I felt a little less desolation in my own heart, and a little more inspiring encouragement in my soul.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:53 AM | Comments (0)

Making Due

Monday, March 17, 2008

Mission groups frequently run in to situations where they may be lacking a particular tool that may help to complete a job more quickly, or a tool that is absolutely necessary for proper repair or expediency.

So, there I was on trip # 2, and I still had some flexibility issues.
Not having all that we wanted or needed at the roof site had a slightly negative impact on my psyche.

My frustration began with having to pick up three or four groups of shingles at a time and hand cart them to a tarp. My enthusiasm for the job waned as I thought, “A wheelbarrow would have helped move debris faster!"

Waiting for the shingles to be pushed off the roof by others still learning their assignments, made the job slower still.

Knowing that we would have to move the debris again after the dumpster arrived was aggravating.

I began to have doubts that our group would make any sort of real difference in this project.

Finally another, louder voice spoke up in my head saying, “Any help is better than no help, so keep moving shingles, keep working. Make due with what you have for others who have nothing."

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:52 AM | Comments (0)

Working vs. Working Out

March 17, 2008

I did keep working, although slowly, and sometimes in a rather sloth-like fashion. I felt that I was not so helpful with my tiny loads, or even contributing much to the overall team effort.

1 hour a day on the treadmill does not prepare you for 4 hours of deep knee bends, or equilibrium changes resulting from your head being moved from near ground-level to regular height every minute or so. Luckily, I was grounded in my unyielding steel-toed boots, which kept me from dizzily tipping over more than a few times.

Also, please note, that 1 hour a day on a treadmill, wearing sneakers and shorts in a dimly lit, climate controlled home, does not equal 1 hour of constant ground walking, wearing steel toed boots and long jeans outside in the March Louisiana sun.

How am I going to prepare better for the next trip?
I guess I’m just going to have to wear those steel toed boots while I’m on the treadmill from now on.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:50 AM | Comments (0)

Too Much Water

March 17, 2008

Along with the rest of the ground crew, I continued to slowly cart shingles, branches and whatever debris I could find to the curb. At break time, I ate my lunch too fast, and drank too much water. (Yes, my dear team members, it is possible to do that!)

Even though, I sat down and rested frequently, I managed to develop a head-squeezing ache that morphed into a migraine. Headed for a Burger King for bathroom break, I ended up having to ask Lynda to pull over on the side of the road near a highway exit ramp.

I got out and threw up, while still standing. That was a new experience. I did feel a little better, so I got back in the car. While waiting for the light to turn green, I threw up again. Only my head made it out of the car window that time. Blessings to Lynda and Alyssa for having to put up with that!

After dinner that night, as assignments were being discussed, someone suggested that maybe Lynda and I would like to do kitchen duty on Tuesday. I was all for that, in fact, we both loved the idea.

Posted by jaselin at 06:49 AM | Comments (0)

Spring Break, Jigs & Shingles

March 18, 2008

Collegiate spring break had a lot do with the number of volunteers in Slidell this week. You’d be tempted to think, “Oh, no. College students?" But, then you’d have to think again. Faced with the choice of typical spring break rowdiness on beaches or a week of sleeping on a floor working on someone else’s home, these students chose the latter. Not only was there no need to worry, there was so much to gain. Contagious youthful enthusiasm, and hope for our future leadership. There were also some unlikely but awesome teaching skills.

One young lad gladly passed on his knowledge of the Irish Jig. You can see the pictures of him teaching “class" at www.getinthecar.org. If he could motivate exhausted, muscle weary, volunteering strangers to jig together in a Presbyterian church gym on St. Patrick’s Day, then I have believe that this young man is destined to accomplish remarkable things throughout the rest of his life, as well.

Another group of students from Maryland came to GITC’s rescue and assisted with the transport of unwieldy shingles from ground to roof. When one young man was asked if he had ever done any roofing before, his excited response was, “No, but I sure would love to learn to!" That’s the beauty of volunteering. You may think you are there to help with one thing, but then you get the opportunity to learn another skill which will help you help someone else in the future. It’s amazing where the LORD puts us!

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:48 AM | Comments (0)

Kitchen Duty - Plans

March 18, 2008: On Monday night, after learning of our new assignment, my kitchen duty partner and I quickly agreed on a menu, made a shopping list, and planned our day.

Our simple version went like this:
Set up breakfast, make cinnamon toast, clean up from breakfast.
Drive team members to the roofing site. (All 3 vehicles were needed.)
Go food shopping.
Return to Church base and make lunches for all.
Deliver lunches, make restroom runs.
Return to Church base and make dinner for all. Maybe do some laundry.
Return to roofing site to pick up team members.
Return to Church base, serve & clean up dinner.
Call it a day.

What really happened:
Make cinnamon toast, clean up from breakfast.
Drive team members to the roofing site. (All 3 vehicles were needed to transport crew.)
Go to Lowe’s for roofing supplies.
Return to roofing site, deliver supplies.
Return to Lowe’s for additional supplies.
Return to roofing site, deliver supplies.
Take special requests from team members for items needed from Walmart.
Drive some team members from roofing site to kitchen site.
Return to Church base to make lunches for all. Oops! Used nearly all the bread for cinnamon toast, so…
Drive to Walmart, go shopping for bread, dinner supplies, breakfast and lunch for Wednesday, special requests.
Drive (quickly) back to Church base to make lunches – running way behind.
Perform lunch aerobics – GITC Kitchen Aerobics Series video to be released soon.
Receive call asking for 3 more lunches to be made – no problem ‘cause we haven’t even left yet!
Drive to kitchen site to pick up team members.
Drive to roof site to deliver lunches to waiting, starving, but seemingly happy to see us crowd.
Scarf down lunch while listening to team leader laugh, “Plans? You made plans?�
Drive to Lowe’s for kitchen site team supplies.
Drive to Walmart – not sure what for….
Deliver team members to kitchen site.
Return to Church base to throw together something that will pass for dinner.
Perform dinner aerobics – second video in the GITC Kitchen Aerobics Series.
Pick up members from kitchen site and bring back to Church base.
Continue performing dinner aerobics, while dodging two other teams' sets of cooks.
Pose for team picture in front of trailer, while hoping that the garlic bread isn't burning.
Continue performing dinner aerobics.
Serve dinner, serve dessert, deliver devotion.
Wind down to the point of near collapse, but not before praying I get an easier assignment tomorrow.
Maybe something like using a stubborn donkey to move a greased hippo uphill during an ice storm?

PS. It’s harder to remain anonymous in a small group, especially if you are in charge of food.

Posted by jaselin at 06:46 AM | Comments (0)

Kitchen Duty - Confessions

March 18, 2008

KITCHEN DUTY – Confessions

Dinner Menu:
Lynda’s spinach stuffed shells with marinara sauce (meat or vegetarian)
Salad with dressing
Garlic bread
Banana Pudding

Shopping List:
Foil pans, shells, sauce, parmesan, ricotta, mozzarella, ground beef, spinach, bananas, Cool Whip, pudding, Nilla Wafers, frozen pink lemonade, bread, garlic spread, salad, red onion, tomatoes, cucumber, milk, apples, grapes, pears, tuna fish, orange juice.

Special Requests:
1 liter Pepsi, mini rubber bands, a bandana, Lemon Lift Bigelow tea bags and peanut M&Ms. Sorry, not all were filled but we really did try.

Lunch:
Bologna, Ham or Turkey… or so we thought. About halfway through slapping sandwiches together, we suddenly realized what we thought was bologna was actually turkey. So, every one who asked for bologna accidentally got turkey. There weren’t any complaints though. As a very belated after thought, thank goodness no one was allergic to turkey.

Devotions:
I originally wanted to put one of 13 different verses into each person’s lunch bag as an afternoon prayer gift. I had written out the verses on Monday night, but by the time lunch aerobics were over, there just wasn’t time. So, I flexed! I volunteered for devotions, and passed around the pile asking each person to take one. Then, I asked each person to read theirs aloud. It was cool to hear all the voices as each took their turn, and a bonus to not have to do so much speaking myself.

Dear Future GITC Cook Teams:
For future reference, it really is best if lunches are made before the teams go out. It was a nice idea, but an error in so many ways. The most stressful part of my day was driving up to the roofing site and seeing everyone camped out on the grass, waiting. I thought, “Wow. We really messed this up." Not only were we over an hour late, but because we made everyone’s lunches, there were no snacks at the site to hold them over until we arrived. That was bad. It turns out there were some stale treats hidden away in one of the other vehicles and I understand some of those got eaten out of desperation. What stunned me, besides the embarrassing applause when we did finally show up, was that everyone was gracious. Everyone said thank you. There was laughing and joking, and no hard feelings. You all really moved me with that. If you were reading this in my notebook, you’d be able to see the tears stains.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:45 AM | Comments (0)

Real Customer Service

March 19, 2008

On about the third supply run, I came to this conclusion: there are two types of people who enter the Slidell, Louisiana Lowe’s.

The first group is the Striders; those who move purposefully toward exactly where they need to go, obviously well versed in what exactly they require and carrying the exact knowledge that whatever it is, really does exist.

Then there are the Mission Volunteers; wide-eyed, dead stopped two feet inside the door, squinting to read signs without moving too far in to unfamiliar territory, unwilling to commit to a direction lest they end up wasting time at the completely wrong end of the store.

It’s not too hard to spot us, but the customer service in this store is beyond anything I have ever experienced. Strategically placed about six feet inside the door, the customer service booth cradles the most generous employees Lowe’s has to offer. They aren’t afraid of you or the amazingly far-out questions you might ask.

I can’t tell you how much valuable time we saved by taking advantage of these folks. They always knew where to send us. Plus, they always knew the correct name for whatever widget we were looking for, so that when we did find our aisle, we could semi-intelligently ask someone to be directed to the right item.

We were only misdirected once, and we didn’t even get the chance to figure it out. We were directed to Aisle 3. We hadn’t ever even completed the short sprint over there, when our latest customer service hero came running towards us, apologizing for leading us astray. We were supposed to be headed toward Aisle 16, she told us. We were grateful and impressed, and happily redirected our sprinting.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:44 AM | Comments (0)

You've Reached Your Destination

March 19, 2008

Also, somewhere around the third trip to Lowe’s, we managed to make the GPS lady stutter.

I’m not even sure how we got on this topic of conversation. I think it was musicals… again. In any case when his name came up, even though I was driving through unfamiliar territory with just the GPS lady to guide me, I actually slapped the steering wheel, looked over at my copilot, and squealed!

Then we had a silly, yet obviously mature, 40-year-old-ish bonding event when we both confessed our infatuation with Donny Osmond. Only she had actually gone to see him rather recently…alone! This so elevated my respect for her! Shortly after my squealing episode is when the GPS lady stuttered.

Maybe we were having too much fun while she was working. Or, maybe, it was the frequency of my girlish pitch that short circuited her normally sedate arrival announcement. Because there she was, sounding like a sophisticated female Porky Pig: “You’ve reached, You’ve reached, You’ve R R R reached Y Your De de de de de de de destination!"

We were already laughing our way through the stress, so this just put us over the top

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:43 AM | Comments (0)

The Road to Lowe's

March 19, 2008

The house that our break-out group was assigned to was adorable, and almost finished. It was the closest I have ever been to a completed Hurricane Katrina project. Our mini-crew of three were hopeful that we could make great progress on this project, and move our homeowner father along in the process of getting out of her FEMA trailer and into her home.

Our charges: Install a hot water heater, tile a vanity, connect kitchen plumbing, install trim work & and grout kitchen counters.

The first bit of disappointing news came when it was realized that the wrong type of water heater had been delivered. That item had to be crossed off the list.

Next up: the bathroom vanity. We were to cut the sink hole in the top, cut the tiles, cement, and finish with grouting. Unfortunately, some of the power tools had been fitted with the wrong blades, and were not working properly. After a trip to Lowe’s, we had the correct blades needed to cut wood and tile. We got as far as cementing the tiles, and then had to leave it to cure overnight. Grouting would be done the next day.

Next up: trim work. This time, it was the nail gun that foiled us. The wrong nails had been loaded, and had jammed the machine. Time to redirect….

Next up: kitchen plumbing. All the appropriate pieces were there to complete standard kitchen plumbing connections. But it was soon realized that the incoming plumbing pipe was not standard size. Two out of three of us were off to Lowe’s again looking for some magical adaptor. The other one stayed behind to un-jam the nail gun. That made me nervous.

As we struggled to deal with each item on our to-do list, we struggled with equipment, missing pieces, and devised plans to get around our problems. We were determined, a little annoyed, and brought closer together as we formed a think-tank. It was during a “frustration� break, that we began to share our loves and losses. And it was then that we realized that GOD had put our little team together and given us frustrations because he knew we needed each other.

Eventually, the vanity was finished and installed in the bathroom, and the shower/tub fixtures were in place. The kitchen trim was put on, and the finishing grout work completed. The plumbing looked a little like something from a Dr. Seuss book, but it worked!

Back and forth on the road to Lowe’s, there were many opportunities for conversation. Some were more serious examinations our frustrations in remaining patient with situations that we so badly wanted to fix, correct and repair, but that were also beyond our control or capabilities. Some were nostalgic. Some were about sharing our lives and finding more similarities and a few differences. Some were about moving down south for the weather, for the people, for the cost of living. Some were about certainties and uncertainties, and some were unexpected blossoms of hope to be kept in our hearts forever.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:42 AM | Comments (0)

Withholding, Investing

So, my journey continued. I was completely aware of my actions or non-actions. Some tried to engage me in conversation, some tried to pull the least little bit of information from me. I gave sparingly. I had thought I wasn’t staying, so there was no point in investing, sharing, or even caring. I didn’t doubt they were all good people. We obviously had some important things in common or we wouldn’t have found ourselves together.

Again and again, I had to acknowledge that it was significantly harder to remain anonymous in a smaller group. It also made it much harder to stay aloof. Staying closed up is hard work for me. I have an opinion on everything, and I am prone to offering it without provocation. Still, I pulled myself in pretty tightly, and put up some walls as well. I established boundaries for myself regarding what I would and would not discuss. I really had to work hard at all this. And that should have been a clue.

When it became clear that to me that leaving was not an option, I had an equally hard time opening up. I ended up feeling trapped within the walls I had raised. I had to address each block as if it stood between me and a member of the team. I dealt with some of them, moved the focus to the next one in line, and continued to break down barriers.

There came a startling point when just being friendlier and smiling were no longer effective tools. That is when I noticed the moat. I must have pushed pretty hard to have sent someone so far away from me that I thought we’d never know any more of each other than just our names. I just couldn’t stand that idea. So, I confessed; briefly, not wanting to be overwhelming after having been so withholding.

With another GOD-smack, I was reminded of a lesson that I should have learned a long time ago. Be kind to everyone you meet, because you never know what struggles they are facing. If I had paid any attention to anyone other than myself, I surely would have seen it. Not only had others been building walls, too, but it wasn’t only my moat, after all.

Blessedly, neither one of us had to breech it completely alone. Just by talking, we began building a bridge across it. Eventually I expect the channel to dry up, and hopefully, someday, there might even end up being a little garden of friendship there.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:41 AM | Comments (0)

Duct Tape Sensibilities

I wasn’t up there on the roof Monday or Tuesday, but I was blessed with the joy of watching our female crew go through some empowering changes.

They developed new holes in the seats of their pants, accompanied by deep ground in grit and dirt. Later, after returning to our bunk room, the decrepit conditions of their clothing were compared with amazed joy.

Someone stated that if they kept scooting along the roof, they would wear out the seat of their jeans well before Friday. Someone suggested that duct-tapping the butts of the jeans would make them last longer. Someone else tossed out the phrase “Duct Tape could be my Butt Badge of Courage!‿ Another someone came up with the idea of using double-sided duct tape to not only seal the holes, but help the volunteers stick to the roof better.

I’ve never seen a group of ladies so excited to be wearing dirty, ripped, sweaty clothing. They talked about laundry and belabored the point of even washing their jeans because they would be back in the same state by mid-morning the next day. So, they wore them again. There’s something liberating about not having to put any thought into what to wear. (At least, for us women.)

As I related earlier, the ratio of women to men in this GITC group was 10/4. Despite being jokingly tagged the “Frilly Team," it was awesome to observe our female crew going way beyond being women on this trip. Adopting a “No Glamour, Just Guts" attitude, they moved into being capable women, confident women, conquering women, and without a doubt the most beautiful group of volunteer women in Slidell.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:40 AM | Comments (0)

Wrong Tools, Right Job

As luck would have it, off we went again to Lowe’s. And even though we “needed" parts, it turns out we had another job to do as well.

This time we were more like the experienced, purposefully striding Lowe’s shoppers. We each took a task, and bravely split apart hoping to accomplish our goals faster.

I had the blade assignment. Who out there knows how many types of tile cutting blades there are for the RotoZip? I’m tempted to exaggerate, but the 4 that I found might as well as been 400 to me because I was clueless to the real deal of what I needed.

Luckily for me one of those wonderful Lowe’s employees strolled by. The huge mountainous man (complete with plaid flannel shirt and a longer-than-Grizzly Adams beard) listened to my plight, took my burned up blade and promptly informed me that we had been trying to cut tile with a wood blade. I embarrassedly tried to explain that I had no idea what I was doing, but would appreciate his help if he could just find the right blade.

Those GITC ID badges sure do come in handy when talking to strangers. They especially give you a little grace with the construction savvy set.

My new mentor explained blades in great detail, and then shared his recent re-involvement with Habitat for Humanity in the Slidell community. The group had been dormant for a while as the major disaster had been out of their scope. I extended my arm to thank him with a handshake. We shook hands and parted ways.

Meanwhile, three aisles over in plumbing, my well-travelled Lowe’s partner was getting a lesson on plumbing from a fellow named Donald. A patient, detailed oriented guy, he explained the many parts we needed and their purposes. Then, he put them all together for her so she could see the flow. Figuring that she’d have to take all those pieces apart to check-out, she came looking for me and back-up brain power.

Instead, she and Donald (whom she had dragged around the corner of the aisle by his hand) encountered something unexpected. I can still see the surprised look on both their faces.

I had turned back toward the plumbing aisle and was headed that way, when I ran in to my blade man, again. He stopped me to tell me how he felt inspired by the constant flow of volunteers through Slidell and how that flow had inspired him to become re-involved as a volunteer in his own community. He said that volunteering, working hard, and meeting like-minded people, had helped him to recognize GOD was very present in his life. Talking to volunteers and hearing over and over how GOD had brought others into Slidell to serve had helped defeat the depression the hurricane had brought into his life.

Then, with gentle tears in his eyes, he asked me for a hug. It wasn’t one of those short, simple, thanks-a-lot hugs. It was one of those long “I understand you, and I see GOD in you," bear hugs.

So, that’s what they saw when they came round that corner. Eventually I joined the plumbing brigade and tried to memorize the order of pieces for our Dr. Seuss plumbing. Lynda asked Donald to take a picture with us. He seemed a little unsure about it, but said ok, anyway. When I stood next to him he looked a little more nervous… I think he was worried about the hugging thing.

I had the pleasure of hunting down Donald on one last final trip for yet another plumbing part. This time, I made sure to shake his hand in thanks. He said something very interesting to me. “I don’t know why you volunteers are always thanking us when we should be thanking you."

I told him that was because we couldn’t have completed our project without his patient instruction. He freely gave us knowledge, resources, the confidence that we could get it done, and the feeling that if he saw us again it wouldn’t be interpreted as a failure.

Donald quietly said he used to volunteer with his church sometimes, delivering meals to the homebound, and that maybe he would check in to that and see if they still needed help. There was no hugging, but his eyes weren’t quite dry, either.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:39 AM | Comments (0)

Team and Individual Membership.

March 20, 2008

At home we are generally wholly, and holy, self sufficient; some of us in small comfortable groups, some of us alone.

As a team, we are thrust into co-dependency on a larger level than just our relationship with GOD. We are dependent also on each others' relationship with him.

One of the most amazing aspects of a Get In The Car Team is each individual's ability to stand alone and every individual's respect of that. That does not mean when someone wanders off, that they are easily let go. The very nature of any GOD centered team is to grab out and bring members back in, even closer. However, this GITC team is different. The fingers of the team-body are always reaching out brushing the air around us, checking on those who may stand aside for a moment or two, and acknowledging the need for individual time with the LORD.

Sometimes we are questioning. Sometimes we are asking. Sometimes we are giving thanks. At all times though, we are still attached to the tentacles of the team. We have just been suction-cupped to the ends of them; given enough space to dangle, twist, turn, redirect and seek out the sun.

For those of you who are here in Slidell, I hope you continue to stand alone as needed, but always believe and know that you are part of an unbreakable team that will never let you go.

For those of you reading this, that are not physically here in Louisiana, please be assured that you are still very much attached to us. This is not a small team of 14 mission volunteers. We have carried you here in our hearts appreciating your support and sacrifices, so that we may serve.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:38 AM | Comments (0)

Over Focused

When you’re on a mission trip, you’re always “on a mission."

You’re after a specific item, or concentrating on one special task. You want to do your job efficiently, quickly, and well.

We travelled the route to Lowe’s, the route to both home sites, the roads to and from the church every day. But it wasn’t until we relaxed or varied our routine, that certain things caught us off guard.

Like if I hadn’t been following the GPS lady, and then come to know the route by heart, I might have just once looked left instead of automatically taking the right into the Lowe’s parking lot. How come I never saw that huge orange Home Depot until we were headed out to dinner on our off night? For one, I wasn’t driving so I could take in the scenery. For two, I wasn’t over focused on an immediate task.

On our last day at the kitchen site, I had another “missed-that!" experience. How could I have driven all the way to Lowe’s so many times and never seen that huge orange Home Dept so many miles closer to the kitchen site?

Also, on our last day at the kitchen site, we decided to grab something light to eat, but had no idea what was around. Why not? We drove to and through that neighborhood at least six times. Once we thought to start looking, a Subway restaurant was right there!

I knew Lowe’s and Walmart were at opposite ends of the same shopping center. But was completely dumb-founded to learn that the Starbucks everyone had been visiting and speaking of was also in the same shopping complex. Man, I wish I’d known that prior to our last day on the roof site. But then again, maybe it was better that way. Me on caffeine isn’t always pretty.

It took me until Tuesday at noon to realize that the school across from the church wasn’t dormant but actively attended. Previously, we had left before school started or arrived back after school had ended. I’m sure I might have figured that out if I had paid attention, but at the time I was over-focused on getting to the work.

I think it only took me only three days to realize that there was a sign at the end of the church exit drive loudly declaring, "You Are Now Entering The Mission Field." Over-focused on where I was going, again.

When you line all those things up in neat little paragraphs like the ones above, it makes you think that maybe you’re not really seeing all there is to see around you. And then it makes you realize, that you haven’t even looked.

Being focused is fine; it’s how things get done.
Being over-focused can cost you.

Why would you even think about taking time to smell the roses when you don’t even know that the roses are there?

I’m not about to commit to suddenly turning over an unfocused, new leaf. I will try to look around a little more whenever I’m stopped at a red light, though.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:37 AM | Comments (0)

The Gift of Struggling

Every person on this trip brought me at least one smile or made me laugh out loud.
Even in the midst of stress and sadness. Even during the frustrations and indignations.
There was always someone offering up something to bring it around to good.

Duct tape, Scottish wisdom, sharing music, text messages from back home, things people say when fire alarms go off in the middle of the night, trying to say Wet Roof when your lips are just too tired, a perfectly misplaced puppy, a very unlucky duck, turtle soup, huge pieces of pie, fly-away napkin birdies (for lack of something better to call this amazing talent), laughter, laughter, and more laughter.

I can see GOD’s balances now.
He gave us hearts to hurt so we would be moved, and friends to heal so we could stand.

Watching the first-timers come around was hard.
There were so many times I wanted to step in:
watching the incredulous disbelief and sorrowful tears flow
watching the drive to finish the job turn into full bloom hope
watching the backward glances memorizing the scene
watching relationships grow, and mesh, and fall apart a bit

I was so busy coming around last October that I just didn’t notice if anyone else was or not.
So, there I was: wanting to fix things, wanting to make the path wider and smoother, wanting to give a comforting glimpse into the future.

I wanted to explain that things would be different back home. And, that it would be ok. But, it’s not the sort of thing I’d have believed if someone has stepped into my struggle back then.

I suppose it’s going to sound like a bit of a selfish joy, but I’m thankful for that special gift: the gift of watching others struggle. These were the times I could see GOD moving in their lives, much as he has moved through mine. Knowing how I struggled, and how it’s all turned out to be ok in most ways, gave me the strength to sit back and watch in serene peace.

When I think of all of you as a team, and each person individually, I still feel that enveloping peace. As GOD continues to move through your lives, I hope that someday you get the chance to see others struggle. I also hope you will be with them to rejoice as they move further into the LORD. jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:35 AM | Comments (0)

Caffiene or Companionship

Even as this mission was winding down, I remained embroiled in the throes of questions that not only could not be answered, but probably never will be answered. For the most part, I am peaceful with that. I can find comfort in recognizing the dichotomies of my life give me food for thought, thoughts for words, and words to share.

From my post-midnight, "I should be exhausted, but I'm not ready to sleep yet" journal scribbling:

March 22, 2008, 12:40 am; Franklin UMC, Franklin, TN.

Back to the highs: good music, good driving, good company. Why is this making me joyful?
Caffeine or companionship in Christ?
Bonding or past the point of caring?
The weather or the weathering?
The road or the journey?
Memories of who I was or the new realization of who I am?
Gauging the higher importance: loving or being loved?
Measuring un-measurable paths?
Relieved that I will be alone again or relieved that I am not alone just yet?
Not worrying about getting up or terrified to come down?
Speaking from the mind or writing from the heart?
Being chosen or choosing?

The last song I heard tonight: Nothing Else Matters, Metallica

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters.

Posted by jaselin at 06:33 AM | Comments (0)

Almost Making it Home

Saturday, March 22, 2008

We were still in Tennessee when I received the first message about the Michigan snow fall. Estimates ranged from 6 inches to 2.5 feet of snow would fall by the time our GITC caravan made it to Ohio. As the day progressed, it became clear that getting from the Dundee drop-off point to my home about 40 minutes away, was looking doubtful. Partly, because of the snow, and partly because of an unexpected twist. The friend who was supposed to pick me up called to say that my driveway was under 3 foot drifts of unplowed snow, and that she was no longer planning on picking me up because she had made plans to attend a party.

Knowing I was going home to any empty house was already stressful enough, but to not be able to make it home for such trivial reasons angered me. After a few more calls, and some tears, I found a hotel in Dundee where I could spend the night at my own expense.

Then, the more I thought about it, the less upset I became. I’m not usually one to go looking for silver linings. I’m usually busy trying to figure out if the silver lining could possibly turn into a rain cloud. Then, I invest in preparing for that possibility by packing extra shoes, socks, and an umbrella. For some reason, though, I started to view the stay-over as a sort of intermediate stage; a decompression opportunity. I wouldn’t have to be alone at home just yet. I could ease myself into being without the group. I could relax, take a long shower, watch TV and not feel driven to unpack or start laundry.

Because there was a bit of a commotion before checking in – 3 travel vehicles, 12 hugs and finding my luggage – we drew the attention of the desk clerk. After talking for a while, explaining who we were, she noticed my room assignment was near an elevator. “That won’t do," she said. You need some sleep!" I realize I usually look a little tired anyway, but apparently I looked a little more so than usual.

So, after she moved my room to a quieter location, she offered me hot tea and freshly baked cookies. I indulged, enjoyed a lovely bath, watched some mindless tv, and eventually climbed into cool, clean sheets on an actual bed. Delightful stuff.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:30 AM | Comments (0)

Jesus in a Cheetos Bag

Easter Morning, March 23, 2008

While waiting for my ride to meet me at the hotel, I wandered downstairs for the continental breakfast. I poured some juice, nuked a burrito, grabbed a few salsa packets and sat down in the occupied, but rather quiet, lounge.

I focused my attention on a light-hearted news feed running on the flat screen TV about a Houston, TX , youth minister. My first thought was, “Oh, how silly. Surely there are other more Easter appropriate news stories out there."

Here are a few excerpts from that interview:
http://www.khou.com/topstories/stories/khou080320_tj_cheesus.e0d82bb.html

People come to Memorial Drive United Methodist to worship, to feel close to God. You might expect to see Jesus in a place like this. "They are searching for something. Looking for something," said youth minister Steve Cragg.

It would be no shock to find a symbol of Jesus in a church. But Cragg did not find this Jesus hanging on the wall; he found it in a bag of Cheetos.

“I was fixing to eat it," said Cragg. “And that is the image I saw. It is not something you have to work to see. I don't think the heavenly choir actually started singing, but in my mind they did."

The chip has quite a reputation. Some call it The Cheeto. Others call it J Cheeto. “But one of the guys just looked very calmly and said, his name shall be Cheesus," said Cragg. The nickname has caught on.

The folks at Memorial Drive United Methodist know this is no miracle. It is a Cheeto. But that does not mean it cannot serve a higher purpose.

"If you are looking for God in different places you can find God in different places," said Cragg. "I don't think God makes Cheetos that look like Jesus. I'm not sure grilled cheese sandwiches look like the Virgin Mary," said Cragg. “I do know that God reveals himself to us in a lot of different ways."

That’s when people started talking, all at once, some getting louder than others. Pretty soon the room was filled with words. I heard words like, offensive, heretic, commercialism, and disrespectful.

I also heard, “Taking the grandkids to the splash park today," “Having dinner at my daughter’s," “Just in town to go shopping." Not one single agitated voice mentioned attending church on Easter Sunday.

I sat back and tried to understand why these people, with apparently no plans of going to church on Easter Sunday, seemed so offended. After a while, I changed my mind. This was no longer a silly, inappropriate story. Sadly, it seems to me that my dining room companions may have missed the point.

In my opinion if someone opens a Cheetos bag, which happens at least 1 billion times a year, and Jesus crosses their mind, this is a joy.
If a corn snack starts people thinking more seriously about their lives, amen!
If a cheesy orange puff opens one person’s eyes to looking for messages from God, amen!

I’m not saying it’s impossible that someone might find GOD at the water park today.
I’m just agreeing with this particular youth minister that GOD is where you look.
When HE crosses your mind, it doesn’t matter how or in what form, it just matters that HE does.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:28 AM | Comments (0)

Flannel Worship

Well rested, and rescued from the hotel, I headed for church, even though all I had was jeans and t-shirts. I hadn’t bothered to bring make-up or dress shoes either. I just knew I would never make it home, change and still get back to church on time. So, me and my steel-toed boots and flannel jacket went to church. I figured I’d be a little uncomfortable and have some explaining to do, but I went anyway.

Strangely, it didn’t seem like anyone really noticed or cared too much. In fact, this may have been the most dressed-down Easter I have ever experienced in this congregation. And, I was comfortable. Knowing where I was coming from, and beginning to understand who I am, factored into that contented feeling. I was happy to be there in familiar surroundings, and happy to be one step closer to home.

The delay in jumping back into my regular routine, changed the way I felt when I finally did make it home after church. Yes, there were still three foot snow drifts covering my driveway. No, I couldn’t get in the front door because it was snowed in. I trudged around back through mounds of snow, and crunched up the un-swept stairs. I found there was too much snow piled up against the gate to force it open.

So, I set down my luggage and climbed over the porch rail. After I had cleared enough area for the gate to swing, I grabbed the one bag I had taken from my vehicle and got myself inside. Fred the Cat sniffed at my snow covered pants, boots, jacket, and luggage and just shook her head.

Since I had left the majority of my luggage outside in the trunk, I didn’t have to jump into unpacking everything all at once. I didn’t shovel either. I went through the mail, listened to the phone messages and took a nap. I don’t think I started unpacking until mid-week. I think some of that laziness was based on emotional denial.

I also left quite a few items for next time in my bag. Yeah, there’s going to be a next time. It’s one of the very few things I am absolutely sure of.

That, and the fact that I probably should have brought that frilly little pink Easter hat I saw in Tennessee. Would’ve made quite a statement with my flannel.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 06:20 AM | Comments (0)

April 14, 2008

Cats and Connecting

I don’t know why I am obsessed with putting myself out there. The tendency is to say it’s a noble attempt to help others. The truth is that I am hoping to connect.

I love my cat, especially because she is so independent.

She doesn’t need unending attention; she walks away when she has had her fill. Every once in a while though, I would like a little jump up-in-my-lap and show me you really love me attention. Every extremely rare once-in-a-while she decides to do just that. She never stays for more than a few seconds; unless I quickly grab her and hold her close and tight. She never struggles to get away, but the moment I relax my hold, she’s off to do whatever it is she had in mind to start with.

We’re a lot alike in other ways, too. We both don’t talk much, love taking naps in the sun, adore shrimp, and don’t require much fanfare. She faithfully watches over me at night when I lay down to sleep, and then quietly moves away as I drift off. I can understand her reasons for that.

Truthfully, she moves off because I tend to flip really quickly in my sleep. My abrupt bed flips have resulted many times in an unwilling-to-be, but inevitably, flying cat.

I’ve had the same catapulting experience when people have flipped on me, so I watch carefully for signals that it’s time to slide over and get out of the way. I don’t ever really go away, though. I just hang outside of reach until I’m ready to reconnect, and it’s safe enough to go back for more.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 12:29 PM | Comments (0)

I'm Not Surprised

I’m not surprised by bitter tears
Or that I let them get this far
I’m just amazed in all these years
I haven’t yet found a jar
Big enough to hold their worth
Or deep enough to save them all
Despite the well worn course
And my reluctance to let them fall

I’m not surprised I feel this way
It always comes around
When every one is a “first� day
Feelings like this are bound
To show up unannounced, and
Leave my heart a canyon mess
Sculpted just from hardened sand
And carved of nothing less

I’m not surprised by bitter tears
But then again, I am
Having just convinced myself
That I could safely stand
Beside you without hurting
Near you with out sharing
For you without wording
Away from you without caring.

Posted by jaselin at 12:10 PM | Comments (0)

April 13, 2008

over it

It doesn’t matter
that it’s wrong or irrational
I thought I could
get over it by facing it
but I couldn’t even look at you
I couldn’t even turn my head
I knew that if I saw the pity
I would crumble
I knew that if I saw a light
in your eyes
I would cry
I knew when I took your hand
what it would feel like
and that I would love it
just because I already love you
It doesn’t matter
that it’s wrong or irrational
all I can do is pray
for your happiness
because that is what I really want.
I’d like it to include me
but I doubt that it will.

Posted by jaselin at 09:24 AM | Comments (0)

April 08, 2008

Over-Preparedness in Minimal Space

I am used to the jokes by now. My purse has given many people the illusion that it would in fact carry the kitchen sink were it just a bit larger.

Now the funny part is that my everyday sling-it-over-the-shoulder pouch is only 6.5 x 2.5 x 3.5 inches. It’s been called the bottomless wonder, the incredible abyss, and the magic purse. I admit I do keep a lot in it, but then in my defense, I am a very experienced and efficient packer.

Someone recently asked me if I happened to have any Motrin on me. Of course, I did! So, I began the search. Before I got to the little reddish pills though, I first had to pull out:

Lip balm, a pen, scrap paper, breath mints, safety pin, mini sewing kit, bandages, antibiotic, nail clipper, nail file, Benadryl, cell phone, loose change, tissues, and a thumb tack that even I can’t tell you why I had.

What I didn’t pull out was: money, ATM/Credit cards, business cards, calendar cards for 2007 and 2008, fortune cookie slips of wisdom, receipts for purchases, bible scripture cards, and checks.

There ended up being quite a bit of hootin’ and hollerin’ over my over-abundant purse.

Now, a few days later, something in the air at work was bothering my eyes fiercely. I began roaming the halls, asking around for non-antihistamine over the counter drugs to combat the itchy, burning, eye watering reaction to whatever it was. First possible provider: Tammy.

Let me tell you about Tammy’s magic purse. Her purse is larger and she is way more over prepared than I could ever be, in a pretty minimal space, too. About halfway through her rummaging, I asked for a sticky note pad and pen so I could document the event.

Here’s what Tammy pulled out of her 12" x 9" x 3" purse:

5 packages of dental floss, 6 lip balms, 3 nail clippers, 2 date books (2007 & 2008), jack knife, lip mirror, 2 bottles of lotion, tissues, safety pin, pen, checkbook, 7 ATM deposit envelopes, a bank statement, coupons, makeup, extra ID badge holder, small notebook, an un-closable wallet stuffed with receipts not money, ear drops, an ipod, a cell phone, one thin dime, and alas, much to my disappointment, a completely empty pillbox.

True: Tammy’s purse is over twice the size of mine, but still, I bet I could pack a lot more into it than she ever could! I sense a challenge coming on….

jak

(PS. Thanks Tammy for letting me share. If anyone would like to join our simplifying support group for purse over-packers, let us know.)

Posted by jaselin at 02:19 PM | Comments (0)

April 07, 2008

Spiritual Guess

April 7, 2008

I couldn’t finish The Purpose Driven Life. I was getting way too confused. I’m sure I was over analyzing the exercises, but it was too much for me. The struggle to find my purpose became depressing. I couldn’t see it. I know what I like to do. I know what I’m good at. But I didn’t see a useful purpose for any of it. It’s not the sort of stuff “leadership� is made of.

Even so, when the next Sunday school series, “Spiritual Gifts,� was announced, I had an interest. Yep, it was that good ol’ pit bull mentality coming out in me. I wanted the answer so badly I was still hanging on; lock jawed and blurry eyed, and probably way too close to the problem.

About half way through class, we were given permission to open our “gifts� from the group leader. The packages were cute, brightly colored, ribbon festooned and tube like. Inside was a “self-guided� questionnaire entitled, “Finding Your Spiritual Gifts� by C. Peter Wagner.

The first few pages held 135 questions. In the center of the booklet was one of those dreaded “bubble� answer sheets, just like the ones we used in grade school. The type that required a # 2 lead pencil, and complete accuracy in filling in the dizzying columns of numbered little ovals. With a mounting horrific pressure on your little adolescent head, you knew that if you ended up just one little bubble off course, you were bound to fail the exam and ruin your entire future.

The very first question stumped me.
“I have a desire to speak direct messages that I receive from God in order to edify, exhort or comfort others.�

Um, could someone clarify this, please? Was this supposed to be literal? Did this mean speaking with voices or could speaking through writing be considered? Exhort? Oh, boy. I was in trouble here. I asked, and amazingly enough, just like in grade school I heard, “Just go with your first reaction.�

Unfortunately, “Panic� wasn’t one of the choices! I soldiered on, but Sunday school was short and no one was able to finish their evaluation exercise. We would have to complete them at home.

My first reaction, since I was instructed to act upon it, was to leave the thing in the car to brown and curl in the falsely multiplied heat of a Michigan early-spring sun. However, it somehow made it in to the house despite that intention. I made myself a sandwich, and some iced tea, and decided if I was going to torture myself, I could at least multi-task. Out to the porch I went; food, pen, pamphlet, and all. I finished it in about an hour. I got off the bubble marks a few times, both numerically and physically. But, I kept at it. The sheet wasn’t pretty, but at least it was done.

Another 20 minutes or so, and all the little blackened in number were subtotaled at the end of each line. Then came the page-flipping dance to try and determine what my Spiritual Gifts might be. Another 20 minutes or so, and the results were there in blue and white. And red, as I realized that my normally pale skin had turned into a patchy lobster colored mess.

I went in to take a cool shower to try to lower the damage to my skin, and to keep my brain from frying as well. I don’t think I have ever been so excited, or God-smacked, in my life as when I went back to that booklet a little later to see what my Spiritual Gifts were guessed to be. I haven’t made it to the suggested reflective scriptures yet, but I am sure I am pleased so far.

Spiritual Gift 1: Administration.
“The gift of administration is the special ability that GOD gives to certain members of the Body of Christ to understand clearly the immediate and long-range goals of a particular unit of the Body of and to devise and execute effective plans for the accomplishment of goals.�
Once, at a company retreat, I was asked to identify myself with an animal and explain my reasoning. I chose to describe myself a giraffe. Keep in mind I am only 5’3�or so tall, so there was some confusion about this. I sometimes miss what is happening right below my feet, because I have a tendency to focus farther ahead and find myself planning for those goals and issues.
As far as the devising and executing of plans goes… well, yeah! That’s me!

Spiritual Gift 2: Knowledge
“The gift of knowledge is the special ability that GOD gives to certain members of the Body of Christ to discover, accumulate, analyze and clarify information and ideas which are pertinent to the Body of Christ.�
Research, lists, spread sheets: I live for this stuff. Analyzing and clarifying? Remember, I got stumped at question # 1. That’s me!

Spiritual Gift 3: A Tie!
How typical of me… Helps and Service.
Helps: “The gift of helps is the special ability that GOD gives to certain members of the Body of Christ to invest the talents they have in the life and ministry of other members of the Body, thus enabling those others to increase the effectiveness of their own spiritual gifts.�
Service: “The gift of service – sometimes called the gift of volunteer –is the special ability that GOD gives certain members of the Body of Christ to identify the unmet needs involved in a task related to GOD’s work, and to make use of the available resources to meet those needs and help accomplish the desired results.�

What I find strange is that though they are similar, the two are considered to be different. The explanation offered is, “The gift of helps may be confused with the gift of service. Someone with the gift of helps usually aids one individual, while a person with the gift of service is willing to do whatever is necessary for a cause or project.� Yet, for me they are equal, in that they are supportive and enabling. Helping the one person helps the entire cause. It’s all inter-related. I’m not sure if this way of thinking can be considered a gift or not, but that’s how I think. That’s me!

This is how exactly how I have been desiring and imagining my mission service to be.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 12:34 PM | Comments (0)

April 01, 2008

Vanity and the Treadmill

Saturday night: 8:00 pm. I finally decided to stop working on my weekend project and grudgingly get my treadmill time in. I put on that lovely form-fitting outfit reserved only for working out, and thought… hmm. If I can see my neighbors' silhouettes through their blinds, then they could probably see mine just as easily.

Vanity told me that no one needed to see my version of a jello-wiggle commercial on a beautiful Saturday eve, so I decided to treadmill in the near-dark. The hall light was on, but it did not cast its glow over the treadmill in the corner. Perfect. I jumped up on the treadmill, and hit start. Nothing happened. I hit start again, and again, and again. Finally, I tried to re-figure where the start button was. Bingo! I found it, and the machine started rolling along.

Within seconds, I realized something was terribly wrong. My normally rather tame torture machine was whining like a freight truck's engine, and my feet were literally flying out from under me. Holding on to the grab bars, I assessed my situation, thinking, "If I don't find a way to get off of this thing, it's likely to slam me full force into the recliner two feet behind me."

At this point, as appealing as ending up in that lazy chair was, I was pretty sure I was going to have to break an arm or a leg to get there. I sometimes have a keen way of missing the obvious. This trait completely boggled and amused my husband. I thought of Jeff and received a loving virtual smack from the other side. Through his imagined laughter I heard the word: "Jump!" Well, duh!

I transferred my left hand death grip to the right hand bar, and jumped. By now, the machine was sounding like it might explode. I scrambled for the stop button as soon as I was sure that my sneakers were still attached to my feet, and my feet were still attached to my legs. I was, triumphantly, still standing!

Apparently, I had been hitting the speed increase button instead of the Start button. My normal 1.6 to 1.8 rate was gone, and I had cranked up the programming to a rate of 8.5! No, I wasn't wearing the emergency stop button clip thingy that is supposed to jerk itself from the machine should your body even hint that you might fly backwards off it, thereby cutting off the power and saving your stupid vain self from smashing into chairs or furniture or what have you.

Words to the Wise:
1. Treadmill in the daylight or in an un-windowed basement.
2. Wear the emergency clip.

jak

Posted by jaselin at 12:20 PM | Comments (0)