jakorte's blog

As with most organziations, we have a particular way we are required to answer our desk phones. Its 20 words, 36 syllables, to be spoken eagerly, but slowly, with a smile on our faces so our customers can hear it. We’ve been trained on this. But, I think perhaps the whole world needs to be trained on how to politely and intelligently make inquiries.

Plus, while I appreciate the effort to provide extra calorie burning lip, tongue and cheek exercise for us sedentary desk workers, I practically pass out after that required greeting. I take a mighty big breath before I start, too. And, once I stop seeing black-out spots, then the real conversation begins.

CSR: Good morning, (20 words, 36 syllables).
Customer: Um, is this where my paycheck comes from?
CSR: Yes, this is the (13 syllables) office. How may I help you?
Customer: My check is wrong.
CSR: May I have your name, please?
Customer: Ann.
CSR: May I have your last name, Ann?
Customer: Sklapzwerskamanty- Bergerstinghambler.
CSR: Would you mind spelling that for me, Ann?
Customer: Look, I didn’t get paid right, again.
CSR: Could you provide me with your employee #?
Customer: I don’t know my number. But my check’s been wrong the last 17 times.
CSR: Just one moment, let me try to locate your employee # for you.
Customer: If you people could just get things right once it would be amazing. I work hard for my money, and I need every penny of it.
CSR: Ok, I have your employee number, would you like to write it down for future reference?
Customer: No, I’m driving. (Horn)
CSR: Ok, I’m looking at your check data. It shows that you worked 47 hours during the last pay period. And it looks like you’ve been paid for 47 hours. Can you tell me what your check stub says?
Customer: NO, I’m driving! (Horn) Besides it’s at home. 47 hours sounds right, though.
CSR: So, the 47 hours are correct. Was there something else that you believe is wrong with your pay check?
Customer: Yes, you never put my reimbursements into my paycheck on time, and you haven’t since I started working here 4 years ago.
CSR: Well, that is because reimbursements are not included in your paycheck. They are always paid separately, once monthly, on the last working day of the month.
Customer: You never answer my questions! It’s not right that you hold on to my money. I want a check cut now.
CSR: I’m sorry but this department does not process your reimbursement payments. Let me transfer you to the correct department.
Customer: No, I don’t want to be transferred. No one ever gets back to me. I’ll hold while you go talk to them in person.
CSR: That department is ¼ mile away, across the street, in another building.
Customer: This isn’t very good customer service if you ask me. You should go to training. I don’t have time for this. I’ll call you back in 15 minutes to find out when I can pick up my check.
CSR: Thank you for calling (20 words, 36 syllables). Have a great day.

And they say exercise alleviates stress! For as many times as my phone rings daily, and as many times as I exercise through my introduction and exit greetings, I should be way below my suggested BMI, and practically stress free.

jak