July 30, 2008
Answers, ME News, Vol. 1, Issue 22
Good Wednesday Morning, all!
I’ve been raising questions lately that I would like answered:
How do I find more time?
Move or stay put?
Should I work for love of a job or for money?
Is our economy ever going to recover?
The more time I spend looking for answers, the further away I get from finding them. I’ve laid out all the research for myself, and stored up some suggestions to try. I like to have the facts so I can recognize GOD’s plan when it is revealed. Surely, somewhere in all this data, there is a message trying to get through. I do believe it will be revealed, and even as I reluctantly wait. In the meantime, I’m open to suggestions and ideas. How are you keeping yourself in the light and inspired?
If we will wait on our rewards with diligence and strength, and they will be that much sweeter when they arrive. Blessings.
July 28, 2008
More Than Once
I shattered a long time ago
And I’m still finding
Pieces of myself
In unexpected places
Like the bottom of my foot
Or in the back of my closet
Or in your eyes, once in a while
I never had much luck
When I was looking
So I gave up
Now pieces are coming at me
Sometimes too many at once
Sometimes too long between
Sometimes from you, once in a while
I’m more whole than I was
But still fragile, and
Much more prone to shattering
I don’t want to go there
I don’t want to stay here
I just want to be with you
More than once, in a while.
July 23, 2008
Over Mailed, ME News, Vol. 1, Issue 21+
Apparently 4:30 am isn’t the best time to send large emails. Something went awry at the internet provider level. I think the technical terminology used when I inquired was that “the system burped.��?
Most folks reported getting somewhere between 24-29 copies. The winner of the most copies received was… JB in Florida. She received 55 copies.
I promise, next time around there will be more content, and less repetition.
Not, ME News, Vol. 1, Issue21
“Sorry. Not this week.��?
That was the email notice I was tempted to send you all this time around.
However, my commitment-minded conscience wouldn’t let me rest on that idea. So, I mustered up enough brain power to see what tidbits I might have stored up in my “ideas to be used someday��? file. I came across an inspirational I received by email not long ago, and it changed my downward perspective a bit.
It’s simple enough and strong enough to stand on its own.
They’re not my ideas or words. I’m just passing them along to you.
I hope you follow the thread, and then follow through.
Love, peace and blessings.
July 23, 2008
I’m not really sure
about what I feel
if it’s real
or if it’s just
I guess if I am
I will know
I guess if I am ready
HE will tell me so
There’s a reason
for the stutter
for making sure
the message got thru
to face down critics
to let you know, too.
I think it’s braver
to write it, and
let you keep the words
than to set them
on the voice of
the temporary wind
I guess if you are ready
you will let me know.
July 21, 2008
I’m not sure how to interpret this change in my faith. Previously, either constant or non-existent, now I’m just bouncing around. Not even daily: more like hourly. I almost prefer not to be in faith than this constant yo-yoing. It’s always been tiring to have to work at re-inspiring myself. But, this situation is leaving me exhausted, and nearly shut-down.
The dishes are piling up; the chores list is getting longer. I have things to do, and a list to track my progress. It’s the only way I get the little things done. Like mail a card, or file papers, or update my blog-book.
I keep making plans. I don’t know if that qualifies as optimism or fatalism. Clear out the laundry room closet, the linen closet, the tool closet, the tool chest from the shed, the guest room shelves, the guest room closet, price out the DE collection, organize and thin-out pots and pans, outline ME newsletters, devise format and plans for Monthly Tech newsletter, have my teeth work finished, keep up the treadmill, make a few pairs of pants, work on jewelry project, finish the cathedral windows quilt, read the dozens of books lying around the house, shop for a used car, look for a condo.
I missed the UM Gift of Arts deadline again this year. That was disappointing. I had some great ideas. I guess I can add that to my list of things to do over next winter. Never did get my salsa garden started. I suppose I could still do that if I got over to the garden center this week-end. I don’t know, though. It seems like it would just be another thing to keep track of, another chore to do.
Maybe I’m just tired of having to keep pushing myself. I want to simplify, but I don’t want to give anything up. I want less stuff, less space, and more newness. I contradict myself daily, hourly, and from minute to minute. I’m guess I’m not handling 45 well. Loved 40, but now 45 is halfway to 50 – say, what??? Mid-life crisis? Pre-life crisis?
I’m not giving up, but to borrow from Lifehouse:
The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holding on, I'm still holding,
I'm holding on, I’m still holding,
I'm barely holding on to you
I'm hanging on another day
just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok
So I'm still holding
I'm still holding
I’m still holding on to you.
I'm barely holdin' on to you
July 18, 2008
When I Wake Up Crying
When I wake up crying,
You smile me back to sleep
When I don’t want to face the morning,
You bring me brilliant sunrises
When I feel all alone
You find a way to remind me
That you are always with me
That you never let me go
Sometimes I see you
In my own eyes’ reflection
It surprises me to see
Who I have become
Thanks to you.
July 16, 2008
Something Good, ME News, Vol. 1, Issue 20
I’m predicting today will be a great day because something good happens every day… we just have to be sure we notice it.
And then, we should write it down somewhere, so we can pull it back out when we’re having one of those “just can’t find something good about today" days. Whether it’s wearing a favorite shirt, the price of gas going down a nickel, or the birth of a baby, we can build a personal book of joy.
If it made you happy, keep that memory safe. Make note of the good things. You’re all on my list of great things today.
Peace and blessings.
July 09, 2008
Packing Peanuts, ME News, Vol. 1, Issue 19
Good morning, and Happy Mid-Week! Hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend. Michigan had great weather, lots of fun, and lots of snack foods. Luckily there was also swimming, hiking, and the Michigan State University Club to work all those yummy treats off….
Besides your ME Newsletter this week, I’ve attached a fun, easy and inexpensive summer science project. It’s a recipe for making your own biodegradable packing peanuts from corn. I found it on a kid’s classroom science site. They’re better for the environment than Styrofoam because they quickly dissolve in water, and create less landfill. They also have no static cling, which means they are safe to use for shipping electronics. Isn’t technology grand?
Have a safe and blessed week.
July 02, 2008
Fireworks, ME News, Vol. 1, Issue 18
It’s 10:00 pm on the 1st of July. Already the fireworks are starting to show up in the Adrian air. I look forward to the 4th of July for many reasons. It was always a family holiday. Sometimes we were camping, other times we were at home with sparklers and friends. Fireworks are a complicated art. The medium (firecrackers) have to be just right. As does the wind, the humidity, cloud height, and bird flight patterns.
Some of the best fireworks I’ve ever seen were from the roof of Lenox Hill Hospital in my New York City neighborhood. As we stood gazing toward South Street Seaport, my mother narrated each burst with delightful information. “Blue is the hardest color to sustain in fireworks. Chrysanthemum formations are different from Cascades.��? But what really sparked my mom was that she had learned that these fireworks were going to hold something special that had never been done before. Sure enough, there it was right before the finale: A double, red, intertwined, sustained heart lit the night sky above the river in an awesome glow. I think this was also the year they managed a blue five point star within a white circle.
One of the silliest, and most fun, fireworks events I’ve enjoyed occurred at the Wilson County Fairgrounds in Tennessee. My friend humorously referred to this location as the “scene of the shrapnel fall-out.��? Things were going along fine until the clouds came down low, and the projected winds reversed themselves. Ooos and aaahh quickly turned to Ohs! and Ows! as we were unexpectedly pelted with burnt ashes and bits of firework remnants. I now know first-hand what a deployed fireworks smells, looks and feels like as it floats, or in this case, plummets to the ground, into your hair, onto your vehicle, or just completely dusts your clothes with ashes.
Hope your Fourth of July is thoroughly enjoyed as you pursue your own independent happiness-es.