jakorte's blog

8/6 Upper Room. Prayer Focus: Widows in need

Am I in need?
Yes, LORD, I am.
In need of what?
I don’t know – SHOW ME!

I’m spilling out these thoughts past midnight. The late evening mugginess is gone. Windows are open to breezes and traffic noise. If I going to be am honest with myself, I am glad I will not be inside the house working. I feel pretty good so I’m not sure why this is almost a relief to me. I like the thought of being set apart a bit from the bustle of work, of having some down time.

Wait. Don’t I get enough of that at home? Maybe it’s just been the long intensive travel day, or being 45, or being a widow. Maybe GOD wants this to be a different type of alone: a “leadership" alone. My earlier words come back – my favorite type of job is making sure other people can do theirs by supporting them in whatever way possible. Yet I somehow feel I am getting away from my key philosophy of life and business: Never ask anyone to do something that you would not be willing to do.

Ok. So in order to support the next potential site safety office, I must do this job now. So, that later, when I ask someone else to do it, I will have been there. I’m not going to use the “h" word (happy) about the position I am in. I can justify being unselfish about the spiritual part I will be missing because that same friend who ended up on the roof felt the call to be part of the spiritual team, too. I suppose in retrospect, I did not feel so much of a “call" as an opportunity for a “comfortable alternative."

I do not want to, but I will.
I am not comfortable, but I must grow.
I learned a huge lesson from the youth today.
I expect I’ll learn another one tomorrow.