August 05, 2008
Fullness and the Revelation
When I was 13, I wanted to save the world, but I had no idea how. I had no one to show me. My parents were loving and raising me to be a good and genuine person. Yet, I struggled with injustices, dire circumstances in the news. I spent a lot of time – years in fact - in angry isolation at my own impotence; angry to be alone in this.
Perhaps just out of habit, I find myself on the outside of the group when we are all together, but then, individually getting to know each member of the crew. And, this is where I have found my heart to be the fullest. It’s been a long time, and it’s definitely a different fullness than it’s ever been before.
I thought once my heart was full and then depleted, it would never be full again. Like I said, it is a different kind of fullness. So much so that it overflowed my heart and ran from my eyes sitting there on the cement stoop of Miss Helen’s house. For a moment I was sad, and then there were tears of joy.
Finally, today a group of young adults with the average age of 13, showed me who I always wanted to be. And, although I missed that opportunity at their age, I suddenly realized this. That, as an adult, my presence with them, in the company of CHRIST, is an opportunity for me to be for them what was missing from my life. Boy, is that overwhelming.
Is it strange how my job history predates my desire to be the person whose job it is to not actually do anything but to make sure that everyone has all they need to accomplish their goals?
The revelation: I am where I am in order to assist these youth in their search for what it took me so very long to find.
Posted by jaselin at August 5, 2008 01:09 PM