jakorte's blog

I found a wig like my hair used to be! It was a black elongated pixie with blonde bangs. Of course, mine was shaved at my neck and blonde back there, too. But, close enough! Well, if only you have an elephant sized head. Ok, exaggeration, but I do have a pea-sized head, so the wig didn’t work so well. My sister-in-law tried to doctor it for me by cutting the bangs so they wouldn’t poke me in the eyes – true to punk form, however, also extremely uncomfortable. Not sure how I survived the 80’s with my eyes in tact. Wait, could it be that maybe that's why I need bifocals, now? Anyway...

I ended up using my tiny noggin and went shopping for a child size wig. After all, the kid size ball caps are perfect for me. I put on one of Jeff’s hats once: the sides came down over my ears, and the bill rested on my nose. Somehow, though, even the child’s size wig was a bit loose. I read that your nose and ears never stop growing, so I now theorize that as I age my head must be shrinking, along with my brain.

A discussion about head size with my scissor wielding sister-in-law reminded me that I had a few small hats stashed away. I ended up choosing the denim, Punky Brewster style one – complete with denim flower on the front. Jammed over the wig, it made a nice fit and a real retro statement, too.

For effect, I added lace gloves with fingers cut off, over which I put three silver rings on each hand. The rings included my old set of the blue eye of god, two onyx rings, and some engraved bands that I used to wear every day. I also put on my Metallica 15 year anniversary t-shirt, a nicely seasoned green and black plaid zip-front jacket, cuffed jeans, my old maroon biker boots, some old grey and black 80’s style eye and lip make-up, and one more item: a silver-tone fake lip ring. As an after thought, I added some plain white stickers. The top one said “ME". The bottom one said “1993".

So that’s how about ½ of my office saw my costume, until I started thinking with what was left of my receding brain. 1993 didn’t sound quite right. I ended up doing some research. Yes, I actually needed to do some research on myself. Brain shrinkage; I’m serious. I did the right thing. I pulled up on my big girl biker boot straps and sent out the following email disclaimer:

Subject: Costume Correction
Just to set the record straight... I had a time-warp denial issue going on earlier today. I checked my resume because I started thinking about the 1993 date, and realized by then I was in living Nashville wearing florals and cowboy hats....

Correction: This is me in 1988.

Somehow that's a little worse...20 years ago! Just be glad I did not wear the mini skirt and fishnet stockings, too.

jak