jakorte's blog

T. is always inspiring me. Not like normal inspirations, though. She helps my mind go weirder places than I might on my own….Yeah, I suppose the blue raspberry High Voltage Mountain Dew with Ginseng probably helped some. Now I’m smartly super hyper.

Here’s the thing…Ballet should be listed as a prerequisite for any job where you will be required to share a public toilet with other employees or guests.

Some imperative moves to be mastered:

Demi Detourné: a half turn executed on both feet – used when arriving at a fully occupied restroom.

Jeté: a jump from one foot to the other – which is what you’ll likely do if you arrive at a fully occupied restroom and choose not to use the Demi Detourne.

Glissade: literally: to slide. The front foot moves out to a point, both legs briefly straighten as weight is shifted onto the pointed foot, and the other foot moves in to meet the first. Most effectively used for the “Toe Point Paper Towel Push” – to avoid contact with unidentified liquids on bathroom floors and seats.

Grande-Plié: literally "bending of the knees". Germ avoidance squats, accomplished by a smooth and continuous bending of the knees to the deepest position where the heels lift off of the floor.

Soutenu en tournant: a series of turns in quick sucessions recommended when using the “Ball of the Foot Flush”. First execute a demi plié while extending the leading leg in a tendu position and then stepping up on a tight leg and beginning the turn while simultaneously bringing the other leg up to a raised position while finishing a full 360 degree turn.

Port de bras: literally "carriage of the arms", varied usage:
* Port de bras, elemente: movement of the arms to different positions as in “Over-Head Arm Extensions” – to reach strangely placed back-up TP rolls when the dispenser is out.
* Port de bras, deux: movement of the arms away from the body, elbows severely angled to avoid drippage on dry clean only shirts after washing your hands when the dryer or paper towels are located across the room.

Epaulement: Literally "shouldering". The best way to keep hands clean when opening a push door – put the shoulder into it.

Aplomb: all of the above must be performed with aplomb – or absolute stability to avoid any sort of toilet related workers compensations issues.