jakorte's blog

When is less more?

I’ve done this before. But this is the first time it’s ever been like this.

Throughout major turning points in my life I have experienced many frequent overwhelming irrational desires to sell everything, free myself, and move on. My last relocation was from Nashville to Michigan. Before that I fled from New York City to Nashville, before that I was driven to NYC from Massachusetts.

All this moving about concerned my parents and confused my friends. I could never truly justify my actions. I just knew I had to go, and I just knew when it was time.

I’ve been excruciatingly restless. It hasn’t been so much about not being able to pick a direction, as much as being well aware that there just wasn’t one. Still, I’ve so badly been wanting to break away, leave everything behind. Because that’s what I have always done. I’ve just been miserably waiting for that last little piece to fall into place – to show me clearly where I need to be.

Standing still for far too long, frustrated, I thought I’d get a jump on prepping for my next exodus. Last week’s moving sale encompassed everything I envisioned I would not be taking with me.

A full size freezer, 4 piece bedroom suite, baker’s rack, fire pit, meat smoker, computer desk, an extra tv, an extra stereo, an extra dvd player, an extra recliner, 1 bathroom cabinet fixture, 2 extra chairs, 3 extra lamps, 4 dozen cookbooks, and way too many chickens to ever fit into a smaller kitchen – because no matter where I might be headed, I doubt I’ll ever find a kitchen even close to the size of the one I have now.

Strangely, one week later, I’m already feeling… better - less restless.
Having less has become something more because it changed something.

There isn’t a single room in my home that hasn’t been altered by the sale of some item. I’ve restructured my living room, redesigned the den, opened up space in the master bedroom, uncluttered the home office, deleted an extra bathroom cabinet, and made the guest room more guest receptive.

It seems now that I have had a chance to review all this, that I may have been anticipating feeling one way which lead to misinterpreting the true message.

Even though I was sure it was what I wanted, I just didn’t feel the usual drive to leave. It turns out that what had been coiling within me had been a rather strong push to change. I can’t run off and pursue my heart, because it’s achingly anchored to staying here. I’m still not sure what or who I am waiting for, but I know that I really shouldn't leave, just yet.

There’s nothing less personal about the space Jeff and I shared. The memories didn’t walk out the door with the things I sold. The changes don’t diminish anything – but they’ve changed everything – my past, my present, and reassuringly, the way I feel about my future.

Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.

In this issue: Scroll Saws, Mezuzah Scrolls, Cultural Yard Sales, Culling Clutter, www.flamingoworld.com/retail
Now posted: Sacred Scroll