jakorte's blog

Relationships can be hard. Oh, ok..let’s be real. Relationships are always hard!

Take for example a recent exchange between a friend and her beau. He was reacting to a serious situation in what she felt was a foolishly lighthearted way. She retaliated with an angry demand, “Would you please just grow up!”

A little while later, the tables were turned. She reacted to a not-so-serious situation in a much too serious way, to which her beau exasperatedly responded, “Would you please just grow down!”

I know a few people with the gift of a fascinating child-like mentality. I’ve often wondered where the joy comes from; the happy, bubbly, today-is-a-gift-made-especially-for-me radiating attitude. In the past I have been sad and jealous that I was not made that same way. I’ve tried to achieve this on my own, and have not been successful. In my eyes it equates to having to “act” happy all the time, which for me is stressful and a bit deceptive.

I enjoy the loud happy of others, I just can’t seem to bring myself to shout along.
I love the evident joy some folks shine out like a hot summer day; I just tend to shine in a warmly diffused winter-through-the-window sort of way.
I am happy, just not a jump-up-and-down happy.
I’m a quiet happy: a calm happy, a pleased to have made it this far happy.

I’ve grown down quite a bit, from over-serious to sort-of-more-relaxed.
I'm willing to grow down more. But I still don’t know if it will ever show on my outside.

In this issue: Vitamin D, Garden, Upside Down Gardening, Hydroponics, Ammachi & thoughts on growing down.

Nothing posted: This weekend I begin a new adventure… New Orleans, again. In a very different way.