January 31, 2010
Mom's Notes from Mayo
There is so much information to share, and so many people who want it, I thought it would be best to use Mom’s own words to share with y’all everything I know about everything she knows – or doesn’t know, yet.
The unedited notes begin with her arrival in Minnesota after flying from Naples, FL to Rochester, via Detroit.
The "hotel" she refers to is similar to UM's MedInn. It is a part of the Mayo Clinic's set-up. New patients are not admitted to the hospital until testing is complete and a diagnosis is given.
1/31/2010 4:41 PM
It is definitely cold, but our hotel has underground walkways to our first appointment tomorrow morning, mon at 6:30 a.m. really, really, hoping you all get this. will talk to you tomorrow. thanks for all the love and support.
judy and walter
2/1/2010 9:48 PM
Of course for those of you who know it, you know Mayo is an amazing place. We were admitted at 6:30 am, saw our internist by 7:00, had three tests by 10:00, breakfast but because i was still fasting only yogurt, then two more tests by 1:30, then one more before we tried to get them to rearrange a few tests for the rest of the week. They did and now we will be done (we hope) by Feb 5 instead of the 15th.
As you know the pulmonologists in Naples said it wasn't my lungs, it was my heart. The new guy here looked up some old tests, compared them with the ones i had just a week ago when i was in the hospital before coming here and pronounced my lungs were at least 3/4 worse now, therefore we have a lung problem here not heart based. there may be some involvement with my polymyalgia, but the next few days specific tests will show if that is right. Meanwhile, we are exhausted but feeling confident they will find what they are looking for.
i will have the biopsy at the end of the week to rule out (or in) Sjogren's disease. this is the one i refused in naples because i didn't think they could do it safely enough. i am very glad i am here and it will be done here.
tomorrow is another day of 4 different tests than i have ever had. hopefully we WILL get in a nap before a nice dinner. some very lovely restaurants in downtown Rochester almost all reachable by underground walkways. Walter is getting some workout wheeling me all over.
thanks for all the good wishes. talk to you tomorrow.
love, Judy and Walter
2/2/2010 6:14 PM
today i got to take off the nighttime oxygen monitor, return it and put on a 24 hour blood pressure monitor. every ten minutes the thing goes off. except at night when it goes off every twenty minutes. it goes back at 7:30 tomorrow morning.
next was a 'liposuction" of blood and tissue from my stomach that has some enzymes in it that will show some rare heart thing. then i had an arterial gas test. asked for the best blood drawer, didn't get her at first. after 5 sticks someone got it. and then to top it off, a biopsy of the inside of my lip which believe it or not was the thing i was most apprehensive about and turned out to be a piece of cake. swollen and hurting but that will go away. looking for another rare disease. will know in 2 days.
they are nothing if not thorough. some more unusual things again tomorrow. a swallow evaluation.
going to bed now and hopefully will not get up until the bp machine comes off. thanks for the notes. talk to you tomorrow.
2/9/2010 8:11 PM
my second day of injecting myself with insulin. i do not have to go to the observation tomorrow. they think i've got it. my big appointment with the vascular doctor is tomorrow along with we hope an answer to what to do.
walter decided since we will be here another week that he would check in and have a complete physical. he is great, however, our endocrinologist back home had him on much too much medication a lot of it duplication. the doctors here took away no less than 5 medications he does not need. i had a feeling this was the case but then you trust your doctor. we are so pleased with the results. he has a few more tests to completely clear him and he (and probably me) will come here every summer for a physical and a checkup. the endo said we will communicate by fax for tests and telephone if he should change anything. it is a weird feeling to feel that a long distance has his finger on all the problems and the local one is a drug pusher.
we both have some diabetes classes to go to. mine is to learn how to adjust the insulin when the prednisone dosage is hopefully reduced. walter's is to manage his new insulin routine. no byetta and now insulin before every meal, keeping a better eye on the whole disease.
we are still amazed by the quality and care of the staff here. the depths to which they are able and willing to go to find an answer is stellar. we are glad we came.
tomorrow can't come soon enough for both of us.
thanks for sticking with us. we love you all
love, judy and walter
2/3/2010 9:02 PM
something called a swallow test to see if any food, liquid was getting into my lungs. answer no. this place is amazing. they order a test, they do it usually within an hour and the doctor has the results in another hour. just wow
consultation with the cardiac team. good news: there is NOTHING wrong with my heart. absolutely nothing. the problem is my lungs and it is major. i am able to use only 30% of my lung's capacity. not too good. the docs are very concerned, so tomorrow we start a course of different and unusual lung tests. which means of course that we will be here perhaps another week. but at least we will know. don't know the course of treatment until they tie in the lung problem with my rheumatism component. they seem to think they are related.
very glad we came. they all say "very unusual, very strange, very we will keep trying until we find out" for which we are very thankful.
another very early day tomorrow so to bed. thanks for all the notes and love.
and by the way through the tunnels again to another fabulous restaurant. this time we met people we have been running into all day at the testing sites.
what a place.
judy and walter
2/5/2010 11:04 PM
It is called a “shunt.” It sees oxygen coming and decides not to let it get into my blood. I am on full time oxygen which is like a bandaid for a broken leg. It does not give my body oxygen to use, only oxygen to help me breathe. As the head of my teams says, “This is extremely complicated.”
We know what it is but we do not know where it is. The two 2.5 hour tests today were positive for shunt activity. One showed there is one but it is not in my heart. One showed there is one but it is probably not near my lung. The liver test showed an abnormality and will be followed by an ultrasound on Monday. The other 12 doctors (who were not on the team before today) have set me up with a vascular/hematologist team for Monday. And we still don’t know what they are looking for and what they will want to look into.
We are feeling a little more positive now that we know at least what it causing the shortness of breath. There is no reason for this to have happened. No travels, no flu, no unusual exposures to anything, nothing I did.
And so, we wait. What have been given permission to do anything we want to this weekend. So we have chosen the Mall of American and we are going to have some fun. We will take the wheelchair and the oxygen to use if we need them. Sunday is sort of a rest day with some time in the hotel pool. Just can’t get overtired. Already know how to do that! Walked behind the wheelchair to our room tonight. It felt so good. Now we can go to another fabulous restaurant tonight.
Will be here at least another week. Updates on Monday, if we know anything. Here the feedback is instant so maybe we will know what direction we’re headed in.
Our thanks and love to all of you for your thoughts and support. It helps us tremendously to know that you are out there pulling for us. We love you all. Judy and Walter
Post script: When I spoke with Mom @ 6:00 pm tonight (2/6), they were at the mall still. She was ordering an oreo cookie milkshake made with yogurt, and had completed some serious retail therapy – to the tune of 8 sweaters at C.J. Banks. :-)
2/12/2010 6:41 PM
After a lot of searching for the cause of the embolisms in my lungs, they found out how they got there.
I have blood clots in my legs, evidentallly more than anyone thought and they are breaking off and going to my lungs and literally taking my oxygen and breath away.
The fix is to load me up with heparin AND coumadin. This will stop new clots from forming. Then we have to achieve a level of medication that will keep this from happening again. It will probably take another week for this to happen. This also means oxygen for at least 6 months until we return here for follow-up tests. We will not let anyone in Naples do it. The pulmonary group in Naples did not go tests for clots. Where the clots came from is anyones' guess but they were there to be found by someone who knew what to look for.
The next thing we are going to do while we are here is to start to reduce my prednisone until I am able to get off it completely and see if the polymyalgia returns. I can then get the blood sugar levels more normal and cross that off my list of meds I don't need or want.
Next week is a course on how to reduce the insulin as I reduce the prednisone, and most likely some more blood tests, etc.
My liver is a very small concern and seems to be "healing" on its own most likely with the coumadin and insulin.
We have decided to return here every summer (more if they want us) to check all these developments out and see if everything is still on track. The doctors are more than willing to order blood tests have them faxed and then CALL US, YES THAT SAYS CALL US, USUALLY THE SAME DAY to discuss the results and treatment.
We continue to be amazed at the quality of caring, and care by these people. Today at 9:30 am i had the ultrasound of my legs and at 11:00 I was in the doctors office with the answer as to why I couldn't breathe when I got here.
One of the nurses told me that they won't let anyone go home until they have solved the problem. After 12 days of testing, we believe it.
Thanks again to all of our wonderful family and friends for your calls, e-mails and prayers. you helped make some difficult days tolerable and uplifting.
I will write again when we know how long it will be for sure until we are able to come home.
All our love, Judy and Walter
2/15/2010 11:25 PM
Bottom line came today. Coumadin forever, oxygen for at least 6 months, no physical exertion lest we release a clot, a plan to decrease the prednisone to 0 very very slowly and a lung check-up back at Mayo in June. To tell you the truth we would come every month if they wanted me to.
It has been a long haul but now there is an explanation for the 30% utilization of my lungs. The blood clots in both legs traveled to my lungs which were already pretty full of clots on their own. Add the new ones and the oxygen which has been trying to get into my bloodstream had absolutely no place to go so pretty much no lung/breathing capacity. The oxygen 24/7 is an aid but not a fix.
The fix is heparin and coumadin in combination until we get an INR of 2-3. Mine since we found the problem and have been measuring is 1. They think it will take the better part of another week for this to happen.
Patience is a virtue they tell me. Walter and I were almost running out but then they came up with the solution and we are energized again.
Meanwhile we are on a plan to decrease my prednisone to 0 over a course of 12 weeks. i took a course to learn how to adjust my insulin to the decrease. A little tricky but not impossible to do.
I was looking forward to exercising as part of the diabetes weight loss program but not to be because of the risk of releasing a clot. I will be allowed however to spend 15 minutes a day in the pool doing mild water aerobics. Better than nothing.
We are making tentative arrangements (car, oxygen) to leave for home sometime in the next week or so. we will be driving. just easier than the hassle with the airlines over oxygen and the hassle of having the oxygen people meet the plane in Naples so we can get home safely.
As always we are so very grateful for all the good wishes, prayers and mishaberachs. It makes making the effort to make it one more day worth it when we hear from all you loves. can't wait to get back home and see everyone.
Other than loving the MN weather we will be eternally grateful we came. As we have said before the treatment , care, concern and tenaciousness at Mayo we don't think can be matched anywhere else. They told us no discharge until we have found and treated the problem and they meant it.
The only thing the doctors here are a little unhappy about is that they can't find a reason for the clots to have started in the first place. i should have some weird numbers on some tests i took and they are just not there. we are perfectly OK with that. and we told them we love them anyway. As we do all of you.
Good night and we'll let you know when we start for home.
love, Judy and Walter
2/19/2010 5:39 PM - Going Home
We were waiting for results between 2 and 3 for my coumadin level and this pm i had 2.5. Yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i am officially discharged. we hoped for good news so we got a car and started packing this am. so tomorrow saturday we start for home. we will take our sweet time and probably arrive on thursday. it has been an experience. a very very good one. i wasn't aware that you can just come here, with an apppointment of course and be checked out. well, goodbye for now and hello Naples.
thanks everyone for ;your love.
January 27, 2010
It made sense to me when I bought it. That was after standing in the instant oatmeal aisle for more than a few minutes with my Weight Watcher’s sliding points card and my reluctance to start making better (aka healthier) choices in the convenience foods I eat.
My biggest self-debate is always over flavor. If it doesn’t taste good, I’m not going to eat it. It’s a risk you take when purchasing “new” items, though. You can always hope for the best, and throw out the worst.
I took my extra-high added fiber cinnamon swirl oatmeal out of the office microwave this morning, and sighed.
My sad and silent observation concluded that most miracle/improved diet foods should be outlawed for resembling organized slime.
However, I sucked it up.
Literally; kinda like that first taste of anything hot. For some reason you use your teeth to scrape it off the spoon thinking it will cool off enough by the time it hits your tongue. That little delay-ment move also manages to give your lips a chance to close around the goo before it hits your tongue for its first assessing assault.
It’s harder to spit healthy stuff out with your lips closed.
My assessment: it tasted like a 15-minute water-soaked cinnamon roll, which is pretty tasty if you like mushy cinnamon flavored stuff.
It’s been about 15 minutes now, and I’m still working my way through this cup of cholesterol lowering, irregularity eliminating morning gruel.
Tomorrow I think I will defy the directions and add a little less water.
I think I will be able to tolerate the week’s worth of this stuff that I bought.
Then I think I’ll head back to my stand-by regular instant oatmeal. I’ll just deal with the extra point by going another 2 songs on the treadmill.
As a complete aside, it now makes sense to me that the term “grueling” is used to describe tasks that are notoriously difficult and challenging. Oatmeal must have been way worse back in the dark ages.
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January 26, 2010
Bliss & Signs, ME Newsletter, Vol. 3, Issue 4
“If ignorance is bliss - there should be more happy people.”
Although I’m sure this doesn’t sound at all like something that would actually come out of my had-it-to-the-limit ascetically sarcastic and well-bitten lips, rest assured the thought has gone through my mind a time, or few.
However, in this case they truly weren’t my words.
I took them off a church announcement sign on US 223 in Blissfield Monday night on my way home from a late Ann Arbor appointment. At first, I wondered if the whole “bliss” and “Blissfield” thing may not have been such a big coincidence.
I’m sure there was a noble thought behind the posting, but I haven’t been able to pinpoint one, yet. Maybe it was that we should better educate ourselves and that would lead to happiness. Better education leads to higher salaries, nicer homes, and bigger bank accounts. I can’t imagine that’s really where this church was going, though. I’m sure it was meant to point out something more like, “knowledge of GOD is what will set you free.”
In juxtaposition, here are some words which have come out of my mouth many times, over many years:
“In my next life, I want to be dumb and happy.”
I’ve joked I’d like less of brain, fewer analytical skills, and lower expectations.
I’ve said I’d like to not be able to rationalize balance, over-plan in obnoxious detail, or require all outcomes to equal inputs.
I mean, if I didn’t have the knowledge and the capacity, I wouldn’t have the issues, right?
Of course, I decided to analytically pursue Merriam-Webster's opinion.
The definition of bliss is happiness;
the definition of happiness is felicity;
felicity is the definition of an apt expression.
"Apt" is defined as: keenly intelligent and responsive, suited to a purpose; especially being to the point.
Then, I suppose, I am happy, and I should celebrate that at all times.
In fact, I could use some help. So, help me out here.
Tell me: what does bliss mean to you?
In this issue: Defining Bliss, Charity - Where Does the Money Go?, Merriam-Webster, a short history of Blissfield
Now Posted: Action Plan, Roll with It, New Orleans, 2009
January 23, 2010
1/23/2010, Analyze This
I was dreaming of rainbows. Three of them.
One was was very large spanning a good portion of the sky. One was bright and smaller, and seemed to be floating closer. One was almost wishbone shaped: muted. I was struck by that. I knew it was special.
The dream started when someone had called me over to a large window to see them.
Don't know who it was. Not sure where I was. I remember thinking Florida, but not my mom's house.
My mother called my name.
Loudly, clearly and filled with wonder and questioning. So real it woke me from a sound sleep. By the time I recalled all this and looked for the time, it was 6:58. I'm guessing it took me about two minutes to gather my wits, get out of bed, and check the time on the phone.
Since,I was jolted awake, I started my day. Put some short ribs in the crock pot, set up coffee and programmed it to brew at 9:30 am. Seasoning the ribs gave me the incentive to clear out some very old spices from the spice cabinet
I took some motrin because my throat was kinda sore and several people in the van pool have been out sick.
Ate a grapefruit, and wondered if I really could go back to sleep.
Obviously not, because here I am writing all this down just to get it out of my system.
Now I'm ready. Good night, good morning. God Bless.
January 22, 2010
It’s easy to see what’s happening
I know I should at least try to stop
Pulling myself back in again
And cutting everyone else off
I’m not sure why.
Yeah, that’s a lie.
You alone own this loss
After all it was your struggle
Still there is an extra cost
An expensive pile of rubble
The horizon line is forming
I won’t spend this morning mourning
I’ll save that for the evening light
And drifting off to sleep tonight.
January 19, 2010
Jitters, ME Newsletter Vol.3, Issue 3
It's been sort of a jittery week for me, personally.
Changes in family health, changes in friends and families.
Disappointments, celebrations, anxieties and reliefs.
The types of up and down experiences that tucker you out,
and make you either want to collapse in a dizzy pile or change your life drastically.
No need to worry, however.
No drama or drastic measures are forthcoming.
Because, as you may know, I am a subscriber to the slow and steady method of decision making.
And, as you may know, once I make a decision, I'm prone to stick it out, as well.
I have this vision of where I want to be. Soon, maybe by June.
I've got my outline and my list - no surprises there, either, huh?
Still, I keep looking around nervously;
thinking I'm missing something.
There's probably a big, giant movable billboard behind me that swivels when I do.
I bet it has a neon arrow and the blinking words "Find Your Future Here."
I suppose if I spin fast enough, I might catch a glimpse of it.
But then, I'd be even more impatient to get there.
So, I might as well enjoy the journey.
It may be my goal, but it's always GOD's timing.
"When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other.
Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future. - Ecclesiastes 7:14 - NIV"
In this issue: Jitterbug, Configurations of Jitter, Why We Get Dizzy, and Spinning Tops
Now posted: Action Plan, Pre-meeting Jitters, New Orleans, October 2009.
To subscribe to the one-page issue email: firstname.lastname@example.org
January 17, 2010
January 17, 2010: Ten Years, Breaking It Down
January 17, 2010: Ten Years, Breaking It Down
I have recently been honored and am sincerely grateful to be recognized and rewarded for my ten-year continuing commitment to my company, my division, my department, my position and my coworkers.
Last summer one of those supposedly inspirational saying started to circulate around the office.
People were grumbling because it had been advised at a meeting that it was time for everyone to just “Play nice in the sand box.”
Because I am the warped person I am, I applied that imaginative saying to the very-unimagined negative-attitude surge that had been roiling through the ranks. My immediate reactive thought to that advisory was: “Lately, it’s been more like a litter box.”
This January, I passed a milestone in my career history. I survived 10 years at one institution. My previous stint record was 7 years. It seems like that was the longest I could or would invest in a company before realizing it wasn’t going to change or work the way I’d like it to. I’d often wondered if that was anyhow related to the mythical 7-year-itch problem.
In any case, here I am at 10 solid years under my belt. I’ve switched departments, had my job description and title changed, and moved my work space/office at least 3-4 times. So maybe all of that made me less itchy. (Note: I am not making any claims that I have been less itchy with the second consonant in front of it.)
A two-part rewards program indicated that this milestone year be recognized within my division by a gold-tone heart shaped bit of badge-wear flair featuring an emerald rhinestone and the words “10 Years.” The second part of the reward was my choice of a $20.00 gift card to either a restaurant or a grocery store.
Because I play with numbers all day, a break-down seemed like the answer to my natural intrigue.
$20.00: 10 years
$20.00 / 10 years = $2.00 per year loyalty incentive
2080 workable hours per year in a 5 day/8 hour work week
2080 / $2.00 per year
0.0166 cents per month
0.0332 cents per week
0.0064 cents per day
0.0008 cents per hour
Realizing this, I did the only respectable thing I could do with my new found income:
I added it my yearly estimated income budget sheet.
Then, I used the $20.00 grocery store card to purchase a hefty long-term 24-count double-roll bundle of toilet paper and 28 bucketed pounds of scoop-able cat litter for multiple cats even though I only have one.
Just being practical, and covering my bases.
January 14, 2010
Ok, so there we were – 20 of us looking around a little sheepishly.
We all knew why we were there. At the heart of the matter is a lack of something.
Lack of education, lack of control, lack of support.
For some it will be learning to overcome bad habits.
For some it will be a battle against a weak will.
For some it will be an incentive of accountability.
So, geared up and anxious, it was disappointing to discover that we would not be put on trial right away. Especially since quite a few of us ate our last supper of indulgence the night before.
Nope, the real effort begins in exactly one week. Or does it?
Do I jump in anyway with my whole heart right now?
Or maybe I should ease myself into the situation?
Or maybe I’ll just have another week of last suppers….
The last option really isn’t an option, of course. That would be adding damage to damage, and then having to take a much longer walk back. Groan.
Jumping in isn’t the most appealing idea, either. I want credit for my hard work and proof of my success! Sigh.
I guess I’ll start reasonably, then. Something I should have begun at once, as soon as I began slowly adding pebbles, which have now turned into burdensome stones.
The good news is that I have decided to push forward despite obstacles – physical and mental.
The better news is that I can reeducate myself, redevelop my wicked will for which I am well known, accept help where my weaknesses lie, and encourage others as well.
January 12, 2010
Saving, ME Newsletter, Vol. 3, Issue 2
Just in case one of your resolutions is to "save money"...
I know I’ve mentioned this before, but still… I cannot believe that I am the only person in the world who has fun saving.
It’s time for my New Year’s cabinet inventory challenge, again.
You know the one… where I see what’s left in my pantry and make as many meals as possible without going to the market for groceries for as long as possible. Of course, I’ll need perishables like milk and yogurt and bread. But mainly, I try to spend January not spending money on groceries until I have used up the majority of canned, bottled and dry goods, anything else considered “staple”-like, and the contents of my freezer. Then, come February, I have a great deal of fun comparing store ads, clipping coupons and bargain shopping for more staples.
On the menu so far:
Pesto-filled mezzaluna with smoked chicken
Stuffed pork chops with balsamic glaze
Chili with sweet potato biscuits
Southwestern steak and rice
Turkey with apricots, cranberries and rice pilaf
Pulled pork loin w/ southern white sauce and bean salad
Shepherd’s Pie, Boca Burgers, and Quinoa spaghetti, at some point.
Not spending money is not exactly “saving,” though.
One thing I that I have found useful is the concept of zero-budgeting. The object of which is for income to equal out-go. Don’t mistake this for a “spend-every-penny-you-earn” or “live-life-only-for-today” philosophy. It’s more about an income of $1,000 a month and regular expenses of $950 a month. In order to zero-budget – you must allocate the $50.00 difference to something – hopefully to a savings account, or towards paying off larger debts owed such as vehicles or mortgages.
In order to save money, you first need to figure out exactly where it goes. So, I thought I'd share my tracking sheet with you.
The key to using it is to be completely honest about where every penny you spend is going.
Normal expenses are listed, but the categories are open to editing. Go ahead and type over any of the monthly expenses category to suit your needs. You may also insert a row anywhere between lines 4 and 33. Be sure not to type in line 35 - the red line. (This is a formula total line.)
Once you've entered January's expenses (all of them - include every little thing) you'll have a good idea where your money is going. It may take you a few months to figure out where you can save money.
Saving is something I had to grow into, and something I have to keep on top of.
Saving is not about not having any fun. Technically, you can save for that, too.
In this issue: Zero-Budgeting, Savings Accounts, Klinger.com., Randy Pausch, The Greater Price of Financial Security
Now Posted: Fun-Fundraising, Action Plan Mid-September
PS. If you'd like the spreadsheet - please email email@example.com.
January 06, 2010
About a month ago I discovered Sprint TV on my phone. It's always been there, but I never explored it.
In any case, I ended up scrolling through the options. There are quite a lot of them.
I checked out the Disney Channel - to see what my niece and nephews might be able to watch should the need ever arise.
Out of curiosity, I decided to tune in to an episode of JONAS just to see what all the fuss was about.
You know, it was an ok show. I sort of enjoyed it for it's mindlessness, and those boys are cute.
And then, well.... I enjoyed it again, as soon as a new episode appeared.
And then, well.... I enjoyed it again, as soon as a new episode appeared.
And then, last night... I enjoyed it again, as another new episode appeared.
Now, I am being punished for being an old lady voyeur. The stupid theme song won't leave my head.
I thought maybe if I confessed it, you know - threw it out there -the perky intro and accompanying scene-flashes in my head would go away.
I'll let you know whether that works, or not.
Friendly and Not So Friendly Responses and Advice Received:
"Do you need a Jonas intervention?"
"I am a little scared, but really shouldn't judge since I've never seen it."
"Do you want me to hum the GITC wake-up ring tone?"
"That is too funny - don't feel bad - I often find myself quoting Spongebob ("Barnacles!")."
"STOP DO NOT BUY ANYTHING JONAS. Go for Jacob from Twilight instead!!!"
"That's supposed to be your SECRET quilty pleasure!"
January 05, 2010
how it happened
still a mystery
one moment of
what i meant
what i was even after
i’m sure it’s better
to go on without.
Control, ME Newsletter, Vol. 3, Issue 1
Now that we’re thinking about resolutions in different terms, let’s consider our commitment to self control, and how it applies our desire for achievement of goals.
"The only real control we have is how much control we allow GOD to have."
It took me a few minutes to wrap my head around that revelation.
And it took me even longer to figure out why I wrote it.
I guess I am feeling a bit out of control lately, and have been trying to make myself feel better. I’m not really giving it all to GOD. And I know that makes things harder. Yet, I still feel like there are things I should be taking care of and find myself steering towards them with all my might. It’s like I’m trying to take a sharp right and GOD wants me moving straight on. Am I straying or am I testing? Does it matter?
If I give it all to GOD, will that decrease my temptations? No, not likely.
But it will give me space. Giving our goals to GOD along with our fears, apologies, hurts, and hopes, opens space within us. It is the open space within us - space within our hearts and minds - that GOD uses and fills.
Let out the “I can’t”, “I’m afraid”, “I’m sorry,” and let GOD adore you, assist you, assure you: “You can.”
In this issue: Resolutions, Goals, Intentions; Keeping our Resolutions; Remote Conntrols
Now posted: New Orleans 2009, Action Plan, Team Time