jakorte's blog

Last night on the way home, the vanpoolers and I were listening to and thoroughly enjoying the 7th CD of Janet Evanovich's book, Hot Six. The entire numerical series has been really quite amusing and takes the edge off the inevitable impediment of and then departure from our work environments. Bounty Hunter Stephanie Plumb needed to re-up her cache, and went to rifle some stock from the bond office supply cabinet.

Among the usual sticky notes and manila folders were automatics, semi-automatics, bullets, a few stun guns, and a supply of handcuffs.

Now, I don't necessarily see how having bulleted weapons could positively impact long-term office relations. However, stun guns and handcuffs - those might help. So, I'm thinking... all office supply cabinets should be stocked this way.

With easy access to stun guns, I imagine most employees would think twice before being snippy, cranky or downright demanding. Perhaps, ultimately deciding to be intensely more civil to each other on a regular basis.

How about we use handcuffs to curtail those perpetual smoke breakers and vending machine wanderers? Cuff 'em to their desks. They'd not only be more productive, but they’d be a lot healthier, too. Reduce the cost of benefits, resulting in raises for all! Bet I could get a grant to study that.

As far as the magnums are concerned... solely for morale purposes, I wanna be in charge of stocking the cabinet with mondo bottles of Moscato: to be used with morning Manosas… I mean mimosas… at my discretion, shared only with the people I really like.

Hmm, perhaps I'd better rethink the stun gun availability part.