jakorte's blog

I’ve decided it’s time to be all in - embracing what I know is only semi-permanence - with more than just half of my heart.

Put things where I want them, knowing I can always change my mind later on – rearrange at will with just a bit of putty and a slap of paint. It’s easier to make decisions knowing there are ways to reverse them, glossing over pinpoint scars no one would even suspect were ever there.

Even though that’s not really how I want things to be. I want to leave big I-was-here impressions, fissures - in a non-destructive way. I want to move right through - confidently knowing a not-so-gentle stir-things-up wake follows.

On a rainy Saturday, I started hanging pictures. Not so much pictures, though; folk art, modern art, handmade art, antique art. Not too many, carefully placed to stand alone, or compliment each, other as I see fit. Impersonal, but thematic. The personal ones remain closeted – pinnacles of achievement that sadly really didn’t, haven’t, and simply can’t define me the way I thought they could or would. Photos line the storage area wall, stacked up, laid out in a line.

Perhaps, I’m being too picky about what I choose to display nowadays. Careful calculations are becoming more of a mask than a declaration. Maybe I should hang them: if only to remind myself that they weren’t what I was really after, after all. Maybe someday, when I’m stronger.

In the meantime, I have another project in mind. Black and white photographs for a cabinet collage – some collected long ago, some not collected yet. Snapshots taken down to basic shades of grey drive a different kind of focus, evening out the memories. We see them for what they are, purposeful moments which we meant to capture, intent on hanging on to them with our hearts. Then, we begin to recognize previously overlooked obvious gifts from GOD, and HE turns them into treasures. I’m really looking forward to that.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Luke 12:34

In this issue: Hercules, Hercules, Allen Toussaint, Accepting Responsibility.
Now posted: Humor, That's Random, Facebook Gems, July 2010