November 30, 2010
Wish List, ME Newsletter, Vol. 3, Issue 48
Do you remember making lists as a kid – for birthdays, holidays. Things you’d like others to give you that maybe you saw on tv or at a friends house, music you heard on the radio. How long has it been since you’ve made a wish list? You know, a real out-there no-holes-barred list of things you want?
I've had a running list of minor wants for a while. Some people consider some of them needs, but so far I'm doing ok without them.
I sort of want a few things - like a digital book reader - although I won't even consider buying one until I read all the books in my accumulated pile. I want to make it to Ireland next year, too. These aren't really wishes, though. They're more like short term goals. The real wishes are the ones we keep to ourselves; the ones that are so outrageous and unlikely that we won't voice or pen them.
I recall having conversations with adults and not really believing them when they said all they really wanted was world peace. Full of my own youthful wisdom, I was pretty sure they were full of it. I thought that they just said those things to teach us valuable lessons about the cost of what we were asking for; or that they either really just had enough stuff or just not enough imagination.
Since my longing list of tangibles is nearly non-existent, I guess I'm thinking more like an adult lately. Yeah, complete world peace would be nice. I'm wishing for no abused children, free comprehensive health care, and a couple of hours without conflict of any sort. I was wondering about this frame of mind and it's acceptability, when I happened across a fb post that said what I would've said if I could have thought of a way to say it. So, I requested permission to reprint. I appreciate that permission was granted, and hope you see what I saw in these true wishes.
“Give me a present! Sounds a little selfish. I’m asking ALL my FB friends 2 show those you encounter between now and Dec 25 sum LOVE. NOT just the ones that are easy 2 love but even those who make it tuff. I know you ALL can do it! Knowing that the 118 friends of my little FB world are showing LOVE is the greatest gift I could ever get. It doesn't cost a penny!! Let’s do everything we can to change the world!
Please note that showing LOVE has nothing to do with kissing, hugging etc……Showing LOVE is being kind! Being patient and really caring about your/our fellow man, even the one who cuts us off in traffic, laughs when we slip and fall and for whatever reason we look at as jerks. Sometimes it means speaking up when we see injustice sometimes it means shutting our mouth when our words can do harm. I know that I have friends out there who are not Christian or religious and at least a couple who don’t believe in religion/GOD at all.
I admit that the “love is patient and kind” comes from the bible but I am NOT making any attempt to convert you. I TRULY believe that we CAN change the world one person at a time and it starts with me and you!
BEWARE! Showing kindness and love to others can be something that also changes YOUR life! You may find yourself “loving others” even beyond December 25! I CAN, YOU CAN,WE CAN CHANGE FOR THE BETTER!!”
November 26, 2010
Tried not to react
Let anger get
The best of me
So badly that
The tears took over
And damage control
Is needed now
Before this all spins
Completely off the turntable
Flying out without direction
Hurling anger everywhere
Except where maybe
It could be put to use
In better ways
I’ve had better days
tried not to react... failed miserably...
'd be a lot better off if I could find a way
to laugh about it now
instead of tomorrow
I’d be a lot better off if I could find a way to laugh this off
Or sleep it off or live it off until it’s just over and done
The problem is, the problem’s been diverted
And now it’s me, still at the end of my rope
Knowing I have to undo the cast
no matter how split-second justified
Reel it back it somehow,
attempt damage control.
November 23, 2010
Roadie, ME Newsletter, Vol. 3, Issue 47
Still feeling pretty good about my hit-and-run weekend.
I reconnected, was able to help out, catch up and just be me – away from home.
I’m still hearing the hum of the tires.
Could be I’m still reeling from the 3 c’s of road cuisine: coffee, chips and candy.
I’m pretty sure I’ve never fallen asleep while eating, so there must be something to this combination.
After six hours of alternating myself silly between David Cook, Lifehouse and Kid Rock, here’s what I know for certain: I’ve got to figure out the voice memo feature on my new phone. ‘ kept having to pull off the highway to write stuff down. Tried to make it coincide with gas stops, but sometimes I didn’t need fuel, and was worried I’d forget the lyrics or the tunes or the melodies that popped up complete and completely logical. Inspired by songs that I heard and signs that I passed, people I’d left and places I was still headed.
If I thought too long about any one thing, melancholy would threaten the buzz. So, I just kept driving and singing along. Imagining how really good it all could be. And asking myself, “Why not?”
This Thanksgiving, I'm wishing you God Speed and safety as your travel to your blessings.
Chasing Down Moments
Caught a sundog rainbow 69 east of Flint
- drove it all the way to Yspilanti.
My heart sang songs that it already knew
As words waltzed loud from the car stereo
That’s how it’s always been for me, out on the road
Chasing down moments away from my load.
If I thought too long about any one thing
Melancholy would threaten the buzz
So I just kept driving and singing along
And thinking how good it could be
That’s how it always is, when I’m out on that road
Chasing down moments away from my load.
Not too surprised by the pile that I find
I only left it a few hours ago, knew in my soul
that I’d come back to see, it waiting there for me
only smaller, as it should be.
That’s how it goes, just back from the road,
After well travelled moments, away from my load.
November 17, 2010
Slow, ME Newsletter, Vol. 3, Issue 46
I need a little time away from my own thoughts, so this week, I'm sending you someone else's: Richard Cardinal Cushing
Slow me down, Lord!
Ease the pounding of my heart by the quieting of my mind. Steady my hurried pace with the vision of eternal reach of time. Give me, amidst the confusion of my day, the calmness of the everlasting hills. Break the tension of my nerves and muscles with the smoothing music of the singing streams. Help me to know the magical restoring power of sleep. Teach me the art of taking one-minute vacations, slowing down to look at a flower, to chat with a friend, to pat a dog, to read a few lines from a good book.
Remind me each day of the fable of the hare and the tortoise that I may know the race is not always to the swift; that there is more to life than increasing its speed. Let me look up into the branches of the towering oak and know that it grew great and strong because it grew slowly and well. Slow me down Lord, and inspire me to send my roots into the soil for life's enduring values that I may grow toward the stars of my greater destiny.
Slow me down, Lord; slow me down!
November 16, 2010
I only want what I’ve already had
Love and independence
Laughter and understanding
Mine without conditions
Ours without restrictions
Everything imaginable that is good
And loud about being together
And everything that is peaceful
and quiet about being alone together
Not ever needing, but only wanting
And very much wanting to share
November 09, 2010
Drop Out, ME Newsletter, Vol. 3, Issue 45
It’s that time of year I tend to disappear.
It’s more comfortable to drop out than stand in.
I don’t know if it’s the fleeting false forced happiness requirement that irks me.
Or the pressure to keep saying, “Yes, I’m fine.”
Which, for the most part is true - just not all the time.
Just as I’m sure you’re not fine all the time either.
We isolate each other with pretenses that make us doubt ourselves.
I know we’re supposed to love the gatherings and celebrations.
At what point does it become easier to walk into a crowded room alone, to leave alone?
I can’t say, because I don’t even try anymore. It worked the first year, but I think that was numbness.
It’s only become more dreadful since. Once I get past the door, it gets a little easier, and if I can keep busy serving or setting up, I’m fine. It’s just the walking in and walking away that kills me.
If I find the strength to show, I stay for as long as I am useful.
You’ll probably miss me leaving because I slip away quietly on purpose.
I’m not sulking away. I don’t cry myself home. I’ve just had my outsider’s fill. Throwing me into your family mix makes your great-aunt want to meddle or coddle or match make. I’m ok on my own, really. Lonely sometimes, but smart enough to know that’s not likely resolvable. I’m pretty pleased with the way recent changes have worked out. There’s still something missing, and I’m well aware of that. But forcing my solo self into that barely-enough-room-for-elbows extra chair at any dinner table isn’t the answer.
Even perennials have a non-productive dormant season. No reason to be hard on me if I choose to lay low for a while; I don’t plan to stay in that place forever. Lows are part of the science of highs; I'm looking to an even keel as welcome relief when the emotional lash-back battering becomes too much.
I know this is all anticipation. I promise I won’t make any choices until I have to.
I’m going to do what feels right and best for me.
Maybe this will be the year I don’t drop out, or maybe next year will.
November 02, 2010
Perpetual, ME Newsletter, Vol. 3, Issue 44
According to Webster’s Dictionary, perpetual can be defined as blooming almost continually throughout the season or year.
I wish the season of thanks was a perpetual one. I wish I could freely point out on a daily basis all the good things worth saying aloud as opposed to enduring the repeated grumbled muttering of all that is bad. The thing is, no one seems to want to hear that. They’re looking for unhappy agreement, strength in disgruntled numbers.
I tend to hold my breath in the midst of gripers and spouters. I guess I’m just not willing to ingest all that pollution. I need to remind myself to keep breathing, because...
If you’re breathing, you’ve got the chance to do great things. Not necessarily great big things… just great things. Like hand out a compliment, or give a grateful smile, or offer a sincere handshake for no reason except that you’ve encountered another person walking this earth, and they’re struggling, too.
Let’s be an active part of GOD’s repetitive beauty.
Let’s not wait for spring to bloom. Let’s be evergreens.
Let’s do it now, perpetually, through the fall and the long winter ahead.