jakorte's blog

Humor is a veil, and sometimes it gets a little hard to breathe under mine. It’s also a protective shield that deflects others from the intent of going deeper. I’ve given myself a little more leeway that I probably should have with the sarcasm shield. I enjoy it, though. Having to dig for the spin from tragic to trippy is a challenge. I exercise my mind a lot; trying to see around my metaphoric road block. I’ve heard enough that it doesn’t go away. As you move along, it diminishes. Every time you turn back to the way from which you came, it’ll be there just as big and ugly as when it landed in your path. Of course, you’ll go around it. It may not seem like that now, but you will. You might not notice that shift right away. You’ll spend a lot of time maneuvering in its shadow. Then one day, it will be beside you instead of in front. That’s when the decision has to be made. Stand in the at-best momentary warmth of the sun knowing that it won’t always be that way; clouds will come and go. Retreat to the at-worst constant shadow of coldness where life doesn’t change much, but your back is always reliably covered by what it’s flattened up against. The decision is always eventually made; it’s just that timing rules the court. It holds us back or propels us forward. Timing is what drives us from soulless to soulful. For some passing time is counted by continuing little claw scrapes, love bites. For others, it’s a proverbial bandage ripped from the anchoring (erroneously-presumed) stable flesh surrounding our shredded hearts. You can cry. Or you can laugh. I choose to laugh. I laugh because I understand some things I couldn’t comprehend before; it’s the only way to keep sanity in the shadows. I laugh to best demonstrate a sadly acquired knowledge: Humor is a greater teacher and a better companion than melancholy. I should know. I learned from the best.