jakorte's blog

Six days off work and nothing on my perpetual list of things to do was done. Well, nothing from the long list of task accomplishments I keep. It only took me two days to wean myself off the pain meds. I didn’t know I liked it better on them until I was through with them. Anesthesia and mind altering drugs are a powerful combination. My world became even smaller for a short period of time. I didn’t care as much about being alone. Of course, I would have said I didn’t care about it all before my surgery. But now I know better.

The pepper plants I thought were started too much late turned into pale green sprouts. Uprooting the natural bed where seeds were randomly and not purposefully planted isn’t easy. I worry about separating the seedlings, knowing some of them have only survived because of the shelter provided by the stronger ones, Yet, they’ve all been working to bring their heads out of the dirt, and toward the sunshine despite the fact that it’s been missing from Michigan since February, it seems.

Two packets not carefully sown into to two little six-inch containers; I truly didn’t have much faith, but two weeks ago I set them on the balcony anyway. They surprised me today, after a week away from my life. Thirty or more little lives on autopilot. It never ceases to amaze me inch how dried pieces of former life rejuvenate. I know they won’t survive the haphazard way I sprinkled the seed into the pots. Tight groupings don’t allow for growth. So, even though I just finished polishing my nails, and its 7:00 pm, I’m glad I over-bought bagged soil. So, they’re still in the same space but in a different place.

Scattered in a roomier one-by-three flower box, they look even more delicate. Environmental shock is hard for even the hardiest to handle. But then, our heartiness is what makes us keep growing even when we don’t like where we’re planted; even when conditions are less than ideal. I have a three-tiered wire pot stand I’ve placed over the seedling. I imagine when they grow tall enough, I could help them stay strong by weaving them through the wires for additional support. And yes, I know for a fact that some won’t make it.

Replanting means shedding weaker roots. They’ll be the ones better let go, just like our weakest parts. It’s painful to watch them wither, but it seems clear that we’re meant to step away from them. Keep them from sucking up resources, and in return giving ourselves more space. Seeking GOD isn’t always an upward motion. Sometimes you’ve got to give into the firm anchorage of your strongest convictions. Throw away the weak offshoots. Allow your good roots to run deeper.