jakorte's blog

Patience is a virtue.

Sometimes it’s one of mine. I can wait. Weighing choices, delaying decisions; these things take patience. Which means, according to logic of my world, procrastination must be a virtue, too.

Sometimes, though, it’s not one of mine. Like when I’ve finally made a decision, mapped out a future. Unpredictably, like the stair cases at Hogwart’s, the patterns of my life shift around me, delivering me into unfamiliar territory. That’s when all my virtue tends to disappear.

It flies away completely, leaving only the residue of foot stomps on my trampled angry heart. I scrutinize my world through squinted vision, trying to narrow the source, trying to pinpoint the answer. I only surmise, through experience, squinting gives me a headache.

So, a short stagnation, it has to be. I won’t tolerate much more delay. I’ll react and rebel if my decisions are uprooted by this tornado of events. I won’t allow them to be tossed into the recycle pile. “Someday” has to be coming soon. Probably not entirely on my terms - nothing ever really is anyway. So, I’d best remember that. I’ll stay in the game for now, waiting to see how it all plays out before I decide to test the water again. Before I spring back into action.