jakorte's blog

I wouldn’t dare put a voice to it, but I do think that during moments when I am forced to step out and away from my own constant self-examinatory introspection, I am more open to GOD’s…? Presence? Direction? Channeling? Maybe GODLY thoughts is a better way to describe it.

There are times, many lately, as I am reviewing the past four years of writing – that I come across something and have to wonder. Did I really write that? Lately, my words are wallowing, colored in self-pity, and very much about me, me, me.

No doubt, I’ve been suffering more lately – with time idiosyncrasies. Do I really need to mark time? I guess perhaps I do since I’ve mastered ignoring it. Seasons change and register; they’re gone just as quickly.

I’m back at fall again; beautiful and painful. Trees of brilliance; brilliant memories. Crisp, clear colors; empty branches. Winds kick up, whistle through them; and me. Capturing fluttering fire; my heart in the camera’s eye. It’s simply not enough to satisfy aching unfilled space. Must every beauty bring a corresponding pain?

Tired of carrying counter weights; never nearing equal balance. Even the best is off; lacking for anything perfect, except for Heaven, for which I am neither prepared, nor immediately longing.