jakorte's blog

I didn’t finish all of the dammit dolls before Christmas. I didn’t finish some before New Year’s, either.

I’m pretty sure the laws of nature dictate that the more you do something, the better at it you become.

Not so, in this case. I never did find the same serge pattern as the first few I did. I over-stuffed a few. Ran out of cool buttons, but was resupplied with some donated ones. They just weren’t as good as the first few I finished after I had the operational part of the project configured. The emotional part was never really under control. What is it about over-ambition which sets us backwards? If I had stopped about doll # 6 or # 7, I would have had some examples of ok work. But I really wanted to be a successful and unique giver this year. Simple, right? Simply, wrong. It wasn’t easy to get past the surge of disappointment in appearances of a few. Yes, I know they weren’t perfect. I’d even say a few were on the more homely side, but I think that made their form more functional. Who would want to slam around an adorably cute and perfect doll?

I’ve had the same sort of irksome run-ins with card making, with quilt making, with cooking and baking, with writing.
I’ll argue that I don’t have a perfection complex. I just want everything to be right, and good, and as close to my imaginative mind’s eye as possible.

I’m sure we’re all aware of those advertised vs. actual photos usually associated with food products. I’ve been on photo shoots were I’ve learned exactly how the shiny, juicy droplets are attached to edge of a slice of gorgeous red tomato peeking out from between a bun and a burger– here’s a hint – they’re not made of water, and that’s not the tomato’s actual color.

Knowing about the trickery doesn’t stop my mouth from watering, though. It has taken me some time, but I have figured out that the item I crave will never be the item delivered. Unless, of course, I make it myself. But, even then.. you see where this is going, don’t you?

I can’t say that I hate it when lessons and answers pop into my head out of nowhere. It freaks me out a little, though.
Like when I’m sitting here trying to figure out how exactly to express what I’m feeling, and a song pops into my head.

Shout to the Lord… yep, I did that one already. He answered “Stay.”
Praise to the King… as often as possible, for bringing me through.
I sing for Joy at the work of Your hands…acknowledging miracles as they are revealed.
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You…. Hold up. No other promises can compare to the promise there is in HIM?
I might have missed that part before. No, I really missed that part before.

So that’s this about? Making promises, keeping promises, breaking promises?
All of the above? No.
It’s about realizing perfection is just a perception. An unattainable one, at that.
Except in one instance. .. except in one Divine instance.