May 20, 2013
Gnawing, ME Newsletter, Vol. 6, Issue 21
Still dealing with the shopping mall fall-out…
Still have that overgrown straw-like, dry and ugly mess on my head.
Still another week and a half away from my next hair appointment, it was gnawing at me.
I’m pretty sure I could have survived another week of mirror taunting.
But, miraculously, someone posted a homemade chem-free solution:
“In need of some major hair TLC?? Combine three tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil with two eggs and apply the mixture to your hair. Let the mixture sit for 20 minutes before rinsing in the shower.
The olive oil will help hydrate brittle locks, while the protein in the eggs will promote healthy hair growth.”
Ok, well, with only two ingredients required, both on hand, and half the amount of hair on a regular head, I went forth with half the recipe. The combination easily whisked into a thick emulsion. This made it easy to hand-scoop out of the bowl, and stayed where it was put, without a lot of dripping.
20 minutes later I started to have doubts about whether I was going to have to call in stupid to work on account of my newly acquired, concrete helmet-head full of dried gook. I decided to follow the instructions and rinsed under a hot shower. My hair felt surprisingly smooth and wonderfully tangle free. I towel dried, and reached over to grab a hair brush from the counter basket.
You know that weird thing that happens after a salon visit? The one where you stand and suddenly you can smell the products in your hair? Well, I caught a whiff and thought – no way! If I don’t get this all of out my hair, there’d be a cat fest and probably some huge hairballs for me in the morning. So, I jumped back in the shower, and used a miniscule amount of shampoo followed by a minimal amount of conditioner. Rinsed again. Towel dried, combed, bent over, stood up to smell check. Phew. Still stinky. So, hmmm… there really wasn’t much of a choice to be made. I got back in the shower and rinsed yet again with another miniscule amount of shampoo and another miniscule amount of conditioner. It was getting later in the evening. I briefly considered employing my seldom used hair dryer, and then considered the possibility of cooking up any possible scrambled egg remnants. I set about letting my smooth head of hair air dry, and in a half hour, I didn’t notice a smell anymore.
About 4 hours later I woke up wondering what was dripping onto my scalp. That would be cat with a very cold nose, purring like a fiend. Not really licking and not really chewing my hair, just sort of pushing it around, breathing heavily and poking his snout about. I couldn’t see it, but I imagine he was making that cat face – the one that comes about after they unexplicably stick their nose into an available shoe. I scooted him out the door, simultaneously grabbing a sock to close into the door jamb because it muffles the sound of continual cat-knocking, displeasure communicating, door battery. I succeeded. Not bad for being half asleep!
In the morning, I washed and rinsed again, with regular small appropriate amounts of shampoo and conditioner for short hairt. I was still wondering if my situation was anything like what happens when a car encounters a skunk and the stiff wafts through the auto’s air system. You can’t help getting out of the vehicle and taking a few short sniffs, just to make sure that you don’t now smell like skunk. And then you end up worrying that you may still smell like skunk, but you’ve become used to it, so you’re not the best judge of that situation. I surely hoped not. Just to be sure, I asked a coworker to smell my hair. I probably should have explained the situation before I made the request. Now I know what kind of stuff stops her in her tracks, and that, thankfully, I was in fact hair-mask fragrance free.
The bottom line: it worked! Nicely, I might add.
I’d do it again. On a weekend. Saturday morning. With nowhere to go until Sunday.
I’ll also sock the door to preempt potential cat gnawing. Gnawing what I now know, of course.
Posted by jaselin at May 20, 2013 09:21 PM