December 19, 2010
I Had Enough
I had enough, once,
and I liked it.
Lost so much,
gave the rest away.
Can't be sure
how long I'll stay
strong and standing.
Know for certain
you gotta to fly
to make the landing.
November 26, 2010
Tried not to react
Let anger get
The best of me
So badly that
The tears took over
And damage control
Is needed now
Before this all spins
Completely off the turntable
Flying out without direction
Hurling anger everywhere
Except where maybe
It could be put to use
In better ways
I’ve had better days
tried not to react... failed miserably...
'd be a lot better off if I could find a way
to laugh about it now
instead of tomorrow
I’d be a lot better off if I could find a way to laugh this off
Or sleep it off or live it off until it’s just over and done
The problem is, the problem’s been diverted
And now it’s me, still at the end of my rope
Knowing I have to undo the cast
no matter how split-second justified
Reel it back it somehow,
attempt damage control.
November 23, 2010
Chasing Down Moments
Caught a sundog rainbow 69 east of Flint
- drove it all the way to Yspilanti.
My heart sang songs that it already knew
As words waltzed loud from the car stereo
That’s how it’s always been for me, out on the road
Chasing down moments away from my load.
If I thought too long about any one thing
Melancholy would threaten the buzz
So I just kept driving and singing along
And thinking how good it could be
That’s how it always is, when I’m out on that road
Chasing down moments away from my load.
Not too surprised by the pile that I find
I only left it a few hours ago, knew in my soul
that I’d come back to see, it waiting there for me
only smaller, as it should be.
That’s how it goes, just back from the road,
After well travelled moments, away from my load.
November 16, 2010
I only want what I’ve already had
Love and independence
Laughter and understanding
Mine without conditions
Ours without restrictions
Everything imaginable that is good
And loud about being together
And everything that is peaceful
and quiet about being alone together
Not ever needing, but only wanting
And very much wanting to share
October 26, 2010
Suppose the Wind
Suppose the wind kept calling your name
Suppose you wished it was me
Suppose it wasn’t so complicated
Suppose we could just let it be
Suppose it was a good thing
Suppose we stepped up with nothing
Suppose we started something sweet and rare
Suppose we could stand there
Suppose we recognized the sound
Suppose we slowly spun together ‘round
Suppose we let our hearts take flight
Suppose it just happened one night
Suppose we quietly felt the same
Suppose the wind called your name.
September 07, 2010
‘comes around ‘cause I let it,
encourage it, nurture it, wait for
this time of year, breathing in the air,
and the feeling that maybe now
maybe now, the time is right
or at least better, feeling
stronger, with stronger feelings
and thinking maybe now
I won’t be waiting, maybe now
our time aligns, the way I’ve
envisioned it, for a long while
from the long ago beginning, even when
I knew it wasn’t possible, then even
when it wasn’t likely, still stubbornly
believing in a someday, which now
and once again, like you, has failed
to come around to me.
May 11, 2010
Time to turn a few things around, grow out of my rooted space.
Allow my eyes another view, retrieve the heart displaced.
Carry it forward when I go, to help outgrow the scars.
I'll keep the sun and memories, follow guiding stars.
February 08, 2010
A Seussian Ode to Neurology
I saw a Neurologist this morning.
The doctor said my symptoms weren’t warnings.
I do not have MS, or any tumors.
I do not have neuropathy, despite the rumors.
I do not have Lyme disease or any traces of Lupus.
At this point, I was starting to feel like dufus.
He took a deep breath and went back to his list.
I do not have polyps, and no compressed discs.
My nerve endings are fine - when stimulated
By now I was feeling a wee bit frustrated.
I’ve had fibromyalgia for a very long time
Only noticing when I began to feeling fine
After a long dark era, and some pretty low ceilings
I’m in touch with myself and my body and feelings
The cure it seems will be even more exercise
Every night now, not just weekly a few times
And some medications – for sure not my favorite.
So, thanks for your love, and guidance, and patience.
(and thanks to my special friend: jmc
for her input into this seussian theme.)
January 22, 2010
It’s easy to see what’s happening
I know I should at least try to stop
Pulling myself back in again
And cutting everyone else off
I’m not sure why.
Yeah, that’s a lie.
You alone own this loss
After all it was your struggle
Still there is an extra cost
An expensive pile of rubble
The horizon line is forming
I won’t spend this morning mourning
I’ll save that for the evening light
And drifting off to sleep tonight.
January 05, 2010
how it happened
still a mystery
one moment of
what i meant
what i was even after
i’m sure it’s better
to go on without.