April 23, 2008
Last entry for class
I had hoped to have two more posts before the end of the term but the last post that I wanted to do required the aid of people whom I could not get into contact with tonight. Hopefully, they will be up soon. So this is my last post for the class. Kennedy is some type of aspiring author and likes to try and expand himself by writing about what happens to him. In this case he has tried to do some type of stream of consciousness experiment with the events that followed the return of the group back to the church. Calvin has come back with them and at some point, Mrs. Waterson and Calvin both are unable to be found. Here is what he felt.
Sitting here watching church. engaging God? i hope i touch heaven at somepoint today otherwise this whole thing would be a bit pointless. He is somuchmore present in almost anyplace but here. here i search for Him like a fishergod with my line under 8 ft of invisibling water. ha when i’ma fisherfish i find God, rarely trout. here, there are big banners and people waving them with tears and shouts and Godsightings and words and words and praises and thus saieths. i’m happy for them and i’ve been them before. what days. david impersonation dances are the best ones. i’m bored though and sleepy. headdownonpewHolyNap. Tap.Tap. Hey, Ryan why is your face down like that, with heavy sighs and darting eyes? “I saw your mom in the back a few minutes ago with Calvin and now no one knows where either of them are. I’ve been trying to find them but I can’t. Come help me look through the warehouse and we’ll meet in the kitchen.” Great. my mother missing + ((addicted + homeless + coming down) man) + scary warehouse + unarmed me. when did i enter this horror movie? my feet shout into the warehouse where sounds jumps on walls and shake imposing racks full of goodwill clothes and canned foods. we’re right here they say. i could be shot in the dark cool meat of my back while i stood in the dark cool back of this meat locker. i hear rustlings that never happen, hear phantoms glide behind my head. there’s still worship in the adjacent sanctuary. why didn’t we stop it? microphone tap tap. ahem. amen. yes, we are going to need stop praising the LORD, my mother is missing with a fellow that i don’t trust fully. oh, well. i can’t stop now, i’ve got troubles on my mind. (and that last line, taken from a Keane song plays on repeat from now until the point when i do eventually find my mother. occasionally venturing into afew other lyrics.) i dance around rows and columns and climb the supermegaultra-agrocrag or garbage bags stuffed with clothes that mostly rich white people think are fashionable enough now for the poor black people they see on the streets to wear. fully expecting to throw my foot through a bag and see my mom’s face like when Darth Vader’s mask explodes in Empire after Luke has the vision in the cave. i’m in my own cave. this is a moment of initiation. entering masculinity. defending helplessness. the force moves through you. Obi Wan has joined those phantoms in this warehouse. he’s a good phantom though. here it is, here’s kitchen. and here’s mom. and here’s calvin and that pizza. mother dear, may i have a moment in the hallway? “Yea, whatsup Ken?” oh, no grand problem, just have had my heart breaking my ribcage forfear for last 2o mins. maybe we don’t run off with random unknown factors in the future? “Oh, Ken don’t be silly. Calvin wouldn’t hurt a fly. I trust him and I knew that I was safe. I always had someone within shouting distance.” that may be the case but it wasn’t me you could shout to. not me.
April 14, 2008
Can I get some money?
I was sitting on the couch when Ryan came home. My husband was normally so graceful but when he carried his luggage and backpack and guitarcase he looked like some wearied salesman.
"How did it go?"
"Oh it was great," he said, "Sometimes things can be a little rough at the beginning. The people just aren't used to the sound or the structure, but this group just entered right into worship."
"Oh, that's great." The truth is I'm one of those people who just doesn't get it. The music my husband makes is so bizarre to me. When I go to church, I want to sing something I know, no something that he just makes up right then and there. He comes comes to the couch and kisses me.
"I missed you."
"I missed you too, Karen." He kissed me again. "We had dinner with a homeless guy."
"Oh, really? And did you bring the homeless man home with you."
"Why did you ask that? Did someone tell you already? Who told you?" Ryan was smiling that impossible smile. Playful insincerity vs. Shocked disbelief. I prayed for insincerity.
"No one told me anything. Ryan, you aren't bringing some strange man into our house. It's insane."
"Don't worry, I'm not the crazy one. He's staying with the Watersons."
"Why do I not know any of this? Explain this to me."
"Ok, so all of the people who went down with us to Nashville were going to lunch."
"How did you get there?"
"On the bus we had chartered."
He blinked quickly and shivered his head back and forth like he was trying to shake something loose from the back of his eyes. "I don't remember, do you want me to finish?"
"As I got off the bus, this guy walks up and asks for some money. I told him that I'd be happy to get him some money and if he wanted to he could come to lunch with us. We sat down, it was pretty clear that our waitress didn't enjoy serving someone who smelled like Calvin did, Oh that's his name. Calvin."
"Ok, so you are having lunch with this guy and he just decides to come live with the Watersons."
"Not exactly. He told us that he had just been dumped in Nashville the night before but eventually he told us that he had been on the streets for six months. Any way, he got this gigantic steak, we used Isaachar money to pay for it, and he just downed the whole thing. We went back to the church and he went and lay down in the prayer room.
“Great, I bet all that freaked him out.” Why can’t I just let it be?
“No, not really. I think he was tired. And was glad to have a pillow under his head. Sunshine and her mom prayed for him and I think it went pretty well. Speaking of Mrs. Waterson, Kennedy and I almost killed her during the next service. She just disappeared during the service and it took us a half hour to find her. She had gone to the kitchen with Calvin because he was hungry again. Kennedy took his mom out in the hall and probably reminded her that it was completely safe to go off with men she didn’t know, but while Calvin and I were in the kitchen he told me that he wanted to come to Detroit. I told Mrs. Waterson and after that it was just a matter of figuring out the details.”
These people are crazy.
April 01, 2008
Calvin Wilkes. He's a Main Character.
Please click on either of these images for a better look.