« Sicky | Main | Why we study organizations.... »

March 22, 2006

It's after midnight, about to go to sleep. Wondering if all the pain and suffering of a graduate student's career is meant to go unnoticed, since everyone's going through it, or if it's ok to go ahead and feel it. Having been through turbulent times recently and with the immediate situation of feeling ill, I sometimes wonder if relevant colleagues, peers and superiors see admitting shortcomings or taking a sick day are signs of weakness. I appreciate the blood, sweat and tears involved, believe me...My respect for what faculty do is only increasing with time. But I grow warily comfortable with taking on the pressures of life and school with some subdued form of acceptance. I'm used to talking about what's going on with me to people in general: disclosure as preventive medicine, so as to self-diagnose through reflection off the other and take care of what may be going awry. In turn, I welcome others to use me as a sounding board for their own issues. But recently I have started to stop considering my travails as travails and just as what I do with my life. Someone that loves me told me that I need to start taking ownership of what is going on around me, so I am doing that now. And with that, being ill and nauseated (thanks ISHTAR!!!!) isn't going to stop me from getting my work done. For my own sake I need to take care of myself and guard against affecting (and infecting) others, but I can also push myself more than I have before. In the end, I think I'll be alright...

Posted by jpsteph at March 22, 2006 12:28 AM

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