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February 20, 2006

Heroes get remembered, but legends never die...

I heard birds chirping this morning. I really really hope spring is here in time for 'spring' break... I should go somewhere next year, this weather sucks ass.

John Mitchell, a freshman at UM who went to Stevenson and was friends with 1/2 the people I know, passed away this weekend after a week in a drug-induced coma due to a snowboarding accident. It's so sad.. I never met him but watching people around me grieve for him is sad, hits much closer to home than anything else ever has. He was my age. He was best friends with my cousin, and his roommate took me to a dance in junior year. He was just like me. I went snowboarding this winter. I go to UM. What is God's plan for him, why did he have to go? I feel guilty having fun when people around me are so sad, and when an innocent life has been extinguished so abruptly. I wish I had known him, he sounds like an amazing person. It feels so weird to go on with the motions of everyday life when you know someone will never do those things again, and when you know the people who wish the whole world would stop until he comes back again. It's so sad, I wish there was a way I could help. I offered condolences and told people I'm here for them if they need to talk, but that's so puny. What possible reversing effect could I have? None. It pains me to think about those things that you just have to wait until it stops hurting. It pains me to think of people I care about going through that pain. I want to take their burden away. He is in a better place now, but he's gone from here. And he will never come back. I hope the people he left behind will be able to move on and live and love, for him if not for themselves anymore. It's such a sad thing to witness. He had a girlfriend of five years.

I talked to Jason today, I couldn't help it I guess. Asked him to promise me that he would be careful if he went snowboarding because a person just like him, or me, or any of our friends, just passed away from a snowboarding accident and I would die if anything happened to him. It was a text, so I didn't say anything else. He said he would, but there was no snow. So i told him there was too, in Canada or farther north in michigan, and maybe he was going to go over spring break. So he promised me he would. God, I miss him. Thinking about John Mitchell and his poor girlfriend and all the people who love him made me wish things could just be perfect. For everyone. I hate having to do this and not being able to talk to him and I would hate myself if he didn't know I still care about him.. I really would die if something happened to him and I never got to be with him and tell him I loved him again. What a scary thought. I wish no one had to go through the pain of losing someone who meant so much to them. And here I am doing it on purpose. But I guess it's all you can do, to move on and support each other and have faith that things will get better. John Mitchell will be remembered by the people who love him and they will feel better and move on. It will just hurt, so badly, to do it.

And this is how she carried on
Well I guess she closed her eyes
And just imagined everything’s alright
But she could not hide her tears
’cause they were sent to wash away those years
They were sent to wash away those years
My anger’s violent
But still I’m silent
When tragedy strikes at home
I know this decadence is shared by millions
Remember you’re not alone

Posted by paulsona at February 20, 2006 02:58 PM

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