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March 02, 2006

things i have learned in the past 1 year, eight months, 22 days and 21 hours

love can be the most amazing and the most painful thing you will ever experience. most often, it is both, but it is always, always worth it.
friends are sacred. especially the ones who are there for you
always, after a year or two or more of not talking, after putting
up with all your bullshit. nothing can be more important than
those relationships.
no matter how much you want life to stop sometimes, it always goes on. and you always go on with it, no matter how painful it is in the meantime. never lose faith.
trust can be a powerful, moving, healing emotion. betrayal of
trust is equally as poweful, moving and hurtful. experiencing
both is essential to becoming a better person.

i learned how to change a tire, how to play hockey, more about cars then i ever thought there was to know, i learned about drawing, drafting, building, painting, videogames, computers, music. i learned about the love a family can have for one another, the value of families keeping in touch, the fun that people can have in a life so incredibly different and more fascinating then your own. i learned about friendships and relationships and love and hate, how to love and trust someone completely.

i learned how to cheat, how to manipulate, how to get what you want, how to lie and pretend, how to forget friends, how to be selfish, how to be lazy, how to hurt someone. i learned the capacity people have to be incredibly heartless and the capacity they have to be thoughtful, caring, loving human beings. i learned that people are so dynamic in nature that they can be both of these things at the same time. i learned what it feels like to be betrayed, and what it feels like to have your heart broken. i also learned what it feels like to break a heart, to betray a trust, and the sweetness of being forgiven. i have learned to be compassionate, but.. some things just hurt too badly to forgive right away.

i am not a perfect person, and i certainly haven't treated people with the respect they have often deserved. i can only decide to learn from my experiences and move on. and not make the same mistakes next time. it's sad for such great things as what i have experienced to have to end, and it's definitely sad the way it ended. but there is nothing left to do but cherish the good, be rid of the bad, learn from your mistakes and move on.

Posted by paulsona at March 2, 2006 03:03 PM

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