renh's blog: March 2007 Archives

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March 30, 2007

memoir of ventura - Friday

food, food, food!!!
It's so hard to convience myself to go back to michigan.
for every time I had to leave california,
I felt the pain.
there is something about california that I love.
I did not know why,
this is some sort of having-crush-on-someone-without-no-obvious-reason.
I remember when I first was applying to US grad schools,
I set up my mind to go to california.
At that time,
I had no idea that it had 1/6 US GDP, and had numerous high tech companies (ie plenty of jobs).
I was debating between USC and UM.
Finally I chose UM.
It's a decision I made by myself,
I did not regret,
however, I could not help wondering what if I had chosen the other one from time to time.

sad, sad, sad!!!

Posted by renh at 02:16 PM | Comments (0)

memoir of ventura - thursday

hiking etc

Posted by renh at 02:15 PM | Comments (0)

memoir of ventura - Wednesday

remember the fun in SD,
I went out for an adventure.
good experience,
no sushi, however.

Posted by renh at 02:14 PM | Comments (0)

memoir of ventura - tuesday

cold and raining,
I had to give up the plan for the ventura river trail.
Instead, I took a nap.

Posted by renh at 02:11 PM | Comments (0)

memoir of ventura - Monday

the science part has been written down,
so here is only the life part.

we took a walking tour around the cultural district - downtown ventura. Our guide is tracy. Our group included me, my roommate - caroline wagner from wisconsin-madison, wendie, cheryl, joan and elizabeth. boss was supposed to join us, but somehow he changed his mind. peter paid 2x$5 for himself and boss, and they had a joke about it. :D we started from california plaza, passed the railway and turned left (keep in mind that I have no idea of east/south/west/north). the street was wide, and there were trees growing in between the lanes. There were apartments on the left, and I was wondering how nice it would be to live here. :)

we first stopped at the ventura durby club, then crossed the railroad to the other side of the street. tracy told us something about the shomash natives. " the city was founded more than 1500 years ago as the Chumash village of Shisholop."

after passing two lovely vitoria houses, we got to the figueroa plaza. (mission park was on the left side of the plaza). the plaza has beautiful blue mosaic decoration. i was somehow puzzled by the painting on the wall, when we gathered and tracy started to talk. the people in the painting seemed to be chinese, but i never heard anything about a chinatown near here. just to make sure that i did not make a fool of myself, i looked at the picture more carefully. there were chinese characters on the houses in the painting, so it got be about chinese! when i heard tracy mentioned something about the early chinese immigrants, i pointed out the picture. tracy then told us that early chinese immigrants (they have piggie tails on the picture, look like from the qing dynasty) came to ventura to do agricultural work, they lived together in the wooden shacks (shown in picture), the wooden shack were easy to catch fire, but the firemen from the town would not help them to put out the fire, so they form their own "fire department", in addition to serving the chinese community, they also put out the fire elsewhere in the city, and they actually were indispensible for saving ventura from the fire. ( "be sure to peek at the china alley mural, in china alley across the street from the mission. created by qi pang guo and song yun, the mural commemorates the chinese fire brigade, which protected not only chinese settlers' wooden shacks, but also other ventura structures in the late 1800s." - visitors guide)
i was actually proud for a moment, although i knew i had nothing to do it. before we left the plaza, i spotted a rose bush in the garden labelled as "china doll".

we walked through the plaza. at the end of the street was the mission. "ventura takes its modern name from mission san buenaventura, established in 1782 by franciscan friars under spanish rule." "mission san buenaventura dates back to 1782 and still houses a dedicated congregation." from the balcony of my hotel room, i could see a golded dome. i thought it was a mosque. but it turned out to be a catholic mission. we did not enter the mission. i love the two norfolk pines in front of the mission. beautiful, beautiful trees, indeed. (actually, it is not pine.)

we walked left and passed the archeological museum. there was a small pig pen like structure on the ground. tracy asked us to guess what it was. someone said it looked like a prison. actually it served as a prison for a while, but before that it was the end of the aquaduct. the early settlers built the aquaduct from the mountain to the downtown, like the roman aquaduct. i was amazed by their engineering skills.

we went upward against the hill and reached the city hall. according to tracy the city hall was recently renovated at the budget of 10 million. it was a beautiful building. and i learned the word "terra cotta".

main street
lawyer, novel (?!)
vitorian houses
hospital (tragic story about the doc)
theatre/library/tourist center

Posted by renh at 02:06 PM | Comments (0)

memoir of ventura - Sunday

Airplane arrived at LAX on time 11:30am.
looked around at the airport for some food,
a snack wrap from big M plus a bottle of water was enough for me.
finally got to at the Crowne Plaza at 3pm.

too tired to look around,
slept well with the soothing sound of the tide/wave,
and the whistles from the train.
PS, before I went to sleep,
I found a pink silky bag on the table -
"ear plugs?!"

Posted by renh at 01:54 PM | Comments (0)

memoir of ventura - pre

the last friday at ventura,
the sun was shining,
it was warm and breezy,
and there is no more crazy meeting schedule.
I was wandering on the ventura pier (which was built in 1871),
bathing in the sun,
breathing the ocean.

several men were fishing.
"how is your catch so far?"
"Nothing yet, but those guys over there are doing good."
"what kind of fish do you usually get here?"
"croaker, ..., halibut;
and pigeon, ...,human, (laugh), that's the flying fish"
(smile)"good luck!"
several step away was another guy's bucket,
I took a peek,
three crabs and some fish.

walking back,
water rushing to the shore line,
a kid digging sand and building something.

in my ipod,
the eagles were singing hotel california.
quiet, relaxed, beautiful, simple but elegant,
this is the impression I have for ventura.
it was kind of surreal to me...

I decided to write it down

Posted by renh at 01:28 PM | Comments (0)

March 29, 2007

vienna

By Billy Joel

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight (tonight)
Too bad but it's the life you lead
You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right(you're right)

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize...
Vienna waits for you.

And you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
Why don't you realize...Vienna waits for you
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Posted by renh at 11:05 PM | Comments (0)

March 24, 2007

cell phone and travel

I still remember that I was appalled by the 800 something cell phone bill. Since I placed several phone calls in Ventura this week, I was worried about the roaming charge. I called the verizonwireless service line today. Luckily, Ventura is still considered as my home service area. :)
Suggestion: before travel, *228 option 2, to make sure the maximun verizonwireless tower coverage.
Alert: Calls made in Toronto, Canada will be charged for roaming. 69 cents per min. but text messaging won't be charged for roaming.
This is some tricky business. I've learned my lessons in a hard way.

Posted by renh at 06:44 PM | Comments (0)

Crowne Plaza - hotel california :)

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
'This could be Heaven or this could be Hell'
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes Benz
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

So I called up the Captain,
'Please bring me my wine'
He said, 'We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine'
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said 'We are all just prisoners here, of our own device'
And in the master's chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can't kill the beast

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
'Relax,' said the night man,
'We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!'

Posted by renh at 05:53 PM | Comments (0)

this week at Ventura

I stayed at Ventura CA this week for the GRC.
Ventura is a wonderfully charming small southern california town. I love the beach, the fresh air, the friendly folks, and especially the fantastic conference.
I was able to run every day. I felt physically refreshing, although mentally exhausting, but in a good way. The information I received at the conference was overwhelming. I need to organize my notes and digest it. I'm working on the feedbacks for my poster right now. The jet-lag made me tired and somehow lost the track of time.

Posted by renh at 05:17 PM | Comments (1)

March 16, 2007

the toad

The well was deep, and therefore the rope had to be a long one; it was heavy work turning the handle when any one had to raise a bucketful of water over the edge of the well. Though the water was clear, the sun never looked down far enough into the well to mirror itself in the waters; but as far as its beams could reach, green things grew forth between the stones in the sides of the well.
Down below dwelt a family of the Toad race. They had, in fact, come head-over-heels down the well, in the person of the old Mother-Toad, who was still alive. The green Frogs, who had been established there a long time, and swam about in the water, called them “well-guests.” But the new-comers seemed determined to stay where they were, for they found it very agreeable living “in a dry place,” as they called the wet stones.

The Mother-Frog had once been a traveller. She happened to be in the water-bucket when it was drawn up, but the light became too strong for her, and she got a pain in her eyes. Fortunately she scrambled out of the bucket; but she fell into the water with a terrible flop, and had to lie sick for three days with pains in her back. She certainly had not much to tell of the things up above, but she knew this, and all the Frogs knew it, that the well was not all the world. The Mother-Toad might have told this and that, if she had chosen, but she never answered when they asked her anything, and so they left off asking.

“She’s thick, and fat and ugly,” said the young green Frogs; “and her children will be just as ugly as she is.”

“That may be,” retorted the mother-Toad, “but one of them has a jewel in his head, or else I have the jewel.”

The young frogs listened and stared; and as these words did not please them, they made grimaces and dived down under the water. But the little Toads kicked up their hind legs from mere pride, for each of them thought that he must have the jewel; and then they sat and held their heads quite still. But at length they asked what it was that made them so proud, and what kind of a thing a jewel might be.

“Oh, it is such a splendid and precious thing, that I cannot describe it,” said the Mother-Toad. “It’s something which one carries about for one’s own pleasure, and that makes other people angry. But don’t ask me any questions, for I shan’t answer you.”

“Well, I haven’t got the jewel,” said the smallest of the Toads; she was as ugly as a toad can be. “Why should I have such a precious thing? And if it makes others angry, it can’t give me any pleasure. No, I only wish I could get to the edge of the well, and look out; it must be beautiful up there.”

“You’d better stay where you are,” said the old Mother-Toad, “for you know everything here, and you can tell what you have. Take care of the bucket, for it will crush you to death; and even if you get into it safely, you may fall out. And it’s not every one who falls so cleverly as I did, and gets away with whole legs and whole bones.”

“Quack!” said the little Toad; and that’s just as if one of us were to say, “Aha!”

She had an immense desire to get to the edge of the well, and to look over; she felt such a longing for the green, up there; and the next morning, when it chanced that the bucket was being drawn up, filled with water, and stopped for a moment just in front of the stone on which the Toad sat, the little creature’s heart moved within it, and our Toad jumped into the filled bucket, which presently was drawn to the top, and emptied out.

“Ugh, you beast!” said the farm laborer who emptied the bucket, when he saw the toad. “You’re the ugliest thing I’ve seen for one while.” And he made a kick with his wooden shoe at the toad, which just escaped being crushed by managing to scramble into the nettles which grew high by the well’s brink. Here she saw stem by stem, but she looked up also; the sun shone through the leaves, which were quite transparent; and she felt as a person would feel who steps suddenly into a great forest, where the sun looks in between the branches and leaves.

“It’s much nicer here than down in the well! I should like to stay here my whole life long!” said the little Toad. So she lay there for an hour, yes, for two hours. “I wonder what is to be found up here? As I have come so far, I must try to go still farther.” And so she crawled on as fast as she could crawl, and got out upon the highway, where the sun shone upon her, and the dust powdered her all over as she marched across the way.

“I’ve got to a dry place. now, and no mistake,” said the Toad. “It’s almost too much of a good thing here; it tickles one so.”

She came to the ditch; and forget-me-nots were growing there, and meadow-sweet; and a very little way off was a hedge of whitethorn, and elder bushes grew there, too, and bindweed with white flowers. Gay colors were to be seen here, and a butterfly, too, was flitting by. The Toad thought it was a flower which had broken loose that it might look about better in the world, which was quite a natural thing to do.

“If one could only make such a journey as that!” said the Toad. “Croak! how capital that would be.”

Eight days and eight nights she stayed by the well, and experienced no want of provisions. On the ninth day she thought, “Forward! onward!” But what could she find more charming and beautiful? Perhaps a little toad or a few green frogs. During the last night there had been a sound borne on the breeze, as if there were cousins in the neighborhood.

“It’s a glorious thing to live! glorious to get out of the well, and to lie among the stinging-nettles, and to crawl along the dusty road. But onward, onward! that we may find frogs or a little toad. We can’t do without that; nature alone is not enough for one.” And so she went forward on her journey.

She came out into the open field, to a great pond, round about which grew reeds; and she walked into it.

“It will be too damp for you here,” said the Frogs; “but you are very welcome! Are you a he or a she? But it doesn’t matter; you are equally welcome.”

And she was invited to the concert in the evening—the family concert; great enthusiasm and thin voices; we know the sort of thing. No refreshments were given, only there was plenty to drink, for the whole pond was free.

“Now I shall resume my journey,” said the little Toad; for she always felt a longing for something better.

She saw the stars shining, so large and so bright, and she saw the moon gleaming; and then she saw the sun rise, and mount higher and higher.

“Perhaps after all, I am still in a well, only in a larger well. I must get higher yet; I feel a great restlessness and longing.” And when the moon became round and full, the poor creature thought, “I wonder if that is the bucket which will be let down, and into which I must step to get higher up? Or is the sun the great bucket? How great it is! how bright it is! It can take up all. I must look out, that I may not miss the opportunity. Oh, how it seems to shine in my head! I don’t think the jewel can shine brighter. But I haven’t the jewel; not that I cry about that—no, I must go higher up, into splendor and joy! I feel so confident, and yet I am afraid. It’s a difficult step to take, and yet it must be taken. Onward, therefore, straight onward!”

She took a few steps, such as a crawling animal may take, and soon found herself on a road beside which people dwelt; but there were flower gardens as well as kitchen gardens. And she sat down to rest by a kitchen garden.

“What a number of different creatures there are that I never knew! and how beautiful and great the world is! But one must look round in it, and not stay in one spot.” And then she hopped into the kitchen garden. “How green it is here! how beautiful it is here!”

“I know that,” said the Caterpillar, on the leaf, “my leaf is the largest here. It hides half the world from me, but I don’t care for the world.”

“Cluck, cluck!” And some fowls came. They tripped about in the cabbage garden. The Fowl who marched at the head of them had a long sight, and she spied the Caterpillar on the green leaf, and pecked at it, so that the Caterpillar fell on the ground, where it twisted and writhed.

The Fowl looked at it first with one eye and then with the other, for she did not know what the end of this writhing would be.

“It doesn’t do that with a good will,” thought the Fowl, and lifted up her head to peck at the Caterpillar.

The Toad was so horrified at this, that she came crawling straight up towards the Fowl.

“Aha, it has allies,” quoth the Fowl. “Just look at the crawling thing!” And then the Fowl turned away. “I don’t care for the little green morsel; it would only tickle my throat.” The other fowls took the same view of it, and they all turned away together.

“I writhed myself free,” said the Caterpillar. “What a good thing it is when one has presence of mind! But the hardest thing remains to be done, and that is to get on my leaf again. Where is it?”

And the little Toad came up and expressed her sympathy. She was glad that in her ugliness she had frightened the fowls.

“What do you mean by that?” cried the Caterpillar. “I wriggled myself free from the Fowl. You are very disagreeable to look at. Cannot I be left in peace on my own property? Now I smell cabbage; now I am near my leaf. Nothing is so beautiful as property. But I must go higher up.”

“Yes, higher up,” said the little Toad; “higher-up! She feels just as I do; but she’s not in a good humor to-day. That’s because of the fright. We all want to go higher up.” And she looked up as high as ever she could.

The stork sat in his nest on the roof of the farm-house. He clapped with his beak, and the Mother-stork clapped with hers.

“How high up they live!” thought the Toad. “If one could only get as high as that!”

In the farm-house lived two young students; the one was a poet and the other a scientific searcher into the secrets of nature. The one sang and wrote joyously of everything that God had created, and how it was mirrored in his heart. He sang it out clearly, sweetly, richly, in well-sounding verses; while the other investigated created matter itself, and even cut it open where need was. He looked upon God’s creation as a great sum in arithmetic—subtracted, multiplied, and tried to know it within and without, and to talk with understanding concerning it; and that was a very sensible thing; and he spoke joyously and cleverly of it. They were good, joyful men, those two,

“There sits a good specimen of a toad,” said the naturalist. “I must have that fellow in a bottle of spirits.”

“You have two of them already,” replied the poet. “Let the thing sit there and enjoy its life.”

“But it’s so wonderfully ugly,” persisted the first.

“Yes, if we could find the jewel in its head,” said the poet, “I too should be for cutting it open.”

“A jewel!” cried the naturalist. “You seem to know a great deal about natural history.”

“But is there not something beautiful in the popular belief that just as the toad is the ugliest of animals, it should often carry the most precious jewel in its head? Is it not just the same thing with men? What a jewel that was that Aesop had, and still more, Socrates!”

The Toad did not hear any more, nor did she understand half of what she had heard. The two friends walked on, and thus she escaped the fate of being bottled up in spirits.

“Those two also were speaking of the jewel,” said the Toad to herself. “What a good thing that I have not got it! I might have been in a very disagreeable position.”

Now there was a clapping on the roof of the farm-house. Father-Stork was making a speech to his family, and his family was glancing down at the two young men in the kitchen garden.

“Man is the most conceited creature!” said the Stork. “Listen how their jaws are wagging; and for all that they can’t clap properly. They boast of their gifts of eloquence and their language! Yes, a fine language truly! Why, it changes in every day’s journey we make. One of them doesn’t understand another. Now, we can speak our language over the whole earth—up in the North and in Egypt. And then men are not able to fly, moreover. They rush along by means of an invention they call ’railway;’ but they often break their necks over it. It makes my beak turn cold when I think of it. The world could get on without men. We could do without them very well, so long as we only keep frogs and earth-worms.”

“That was a powerful speech,” thought the little Toad. “What a great man that is yonder! and how high he sits! Higher than ever I saw any one sit yet; and how he can swim!” she cried, as the Stork soared away through the air with outspread pinions.

And the Mother-Stork began talking in the nest, and told about Egypt and the waters of the Nile, and the incomparable mud that was to be found in that strange land; and all this sounded new and very charming to the little Toad.

“I must go to Egypt!” said she. “If the Stork or one of his young ones would only take me! I would oblige him in return. Yes, I shall get to Egypt, for I feel so happy! All the longing and all the pleasure that I feel is much better than having a jewel in one’s head.”

And it was just she who had the jewel. That jewel was the continual striving and desire to go upward—ever upward. It gleamed in her head, gleamed in joy, beamed brightly in her longing.

Then, suddenly, up came the Stork. He had seen the Toad in the grass, and stooped down and seized the little creature anything but gently. The Stork’s beak pinched her, and the wind whistled; it was not exactly agreeable, but she was going upward—upward towards Egypt— and she knew it; and that was why her eyes gleamed, and a spark seemed to fly out of them.

“Quunk!—ah!”

The body was dead—the Toad was killed! But the spark that had shot forth from her eyes; what became of that?

The sunbeam took it up; the sunbeam carried the jewel from the head of the toad. Whither?

Ask not the naturalist; rather ask the poet. He will tell it thee under the guise of a fairy tale; and the Caterpillar on the cabbage, and the Stork family belong to the story. Think! the Caterpillar is changed, and turns into a beautiful butterfly; the Stork family flies over mountains and seas, to the distant Africa, and yet finds the shortest way home to the same country—to the same roof. Nay, that is almost too improbable; and yet it is true. You may ask the naturalist, he will confess it is so; and you know it yourself, for you have seen it.

But the jewel in the head of the toad?

Seek it in the sun; see it there if you can.

The brightness is too dazzling there. We have not yet such eyes as can see into the glories which God has created, but we shall receive them by-and-by; and that will be the most beautiful story of all, and we shall all have our share in it.

Posted by renh at 12:43 AM | Comments (0)

second project

the first project was the pink (light violet) skirt I made last year. It's 100% hand made, stitch by stitch. The final product is wearable. However, I did ask Mom for help with the final touch.

Now I am working on the second project, half for fun and half for science. I ventured into Homedepot last weekend to buy the tool set and small parts. It was definitely less adventurous than I had expected. It took me less than 30min to shop for the stuff that I needed. I bought dremel 400 tool set, valves, epoxy and quarter-inch tubes. Today, I asked jaehyun to show me how to use the drill when he came to use the luminometer. We struggled a little to assemble the drill properly. I was excited and a little nervous/worried, after I heard that it could cause serious personal injury. Nevertheless, I am ready for this project.

Posted by renh at 12:11 AM | Comments (1)

March 13, 2007

A beautiful day

Today is a beautiful day. I should be happy, but I was sad. I don't know why, but I understand something that I wasn't able to understand before.

Kill Bill Vol 2:
Beatrix Kido, aka the bride, black mamba, killed bill finally. She locked herself up in the bathroom. On the floor, she was crying and laughing at the same time.

Marley and Me:
There goes the Irish luck. Jenny was pregnant again. This time they were able to videotape the grainy image of the fetus and hear the heart beat. "you should be happy, kid. why are you crying?" asked the doctor.

Sometimes, one has to fight hard to overcome the emotional drama, physical trauma, and all the set-backs. when fighting, one simply has no time for sentiment. But once everything settles down, it is emotionally overwhelming to look back, to remember the struggles, to appreciate the good wills and generous help, and to finally let the reality sink in.

Posted by renh at 01:23 PM | Comments (1)

a few words from the bride

Look dead, didn't I,
But I wasn't,
But I wan't lack from trying, I can tell you that,
Actually, Bill's last bullet put me into a coma,
a coma I was to lie in for four years.
When I woke up,
I went on as the movie advertisement refered to as a roaring rampage of revenge,
I roared,
and I rampaged,
and I got bloody satisfaction.
I've killed the hell a lot of people to get to this point,
But I only have one more,
the last one,
the one I'm driving to right now,
the only one left.
When I arrive at my destination,
I am going to kill Bill.

Posted by renh at 01:12 PM | Comments (0)

March 11, 2007

What defines happiness?

Q: What is happiness?
A: Happiness is to set up a goal, try hard and achieve it. Repitition like this is happiness.

This week is hard for me. But I did what I had planned to do. So, in the end I was happy.

Last Sunday, I worked until 2:30am to prepare powerpoint file for MCDB 426. Monday morning, I had to meet Cunming at 9am to discuss the presentation for his class on Wednesday. It's really tough to get up and fight to stay awake. On Monday night March 5th, I suddenly realized that I forgot to email Barbara my abstract for the Diabetes symposium. It was 10pm. The very next day, I started to work on some quick experiments. Actually, those did not work out very well. On the same day - Tuesday, I had to be in the lab at 8am, in order to remove stuff and prepare for installing the biological safety cabinet. Tuesday night, I finalized the presentation files for Cunming's Mol Endo MCDB 426 class and added notes in the PPT file. It was about 1am, when I went to sleep. Wednesday morning, I had doctor's appointment at 9am to check out a mole near my right eye. Then I headed for the DENN bldg for MCDB 426. I was worried at the beginning, but I was delightedly surprised by the remarkable students in the end. that wednesday morning, I had a medium espresso, which helped me to last the whole day with only a little food. I stayed up until 3:30am on Thursday morning working on my poster. Thursday morning, I had a large-sized espresso and went on the whole day without any food. I had to annotate my poster. Plus, we had lab meeting that afternoon, that took a couple hours off. I was able to turn in my draft for Cunming's proof reading at 6pm. I understood that it'll at least take me several hours to assemble the whole thing into one ppt slide, and Cunming probably would not change that much of it, because he's already approved the logic flow. I decided to assemble the poster by myself, so that I stayed up until 2:30am. Friday, as I expected, it was not changed that much. I checked the details and went to DC north campus to print it out. by 2:30pm I came back to the lab. at pierrepalm commons, I bought a case for the poster at the book store. i struggled a lot to roll the poster up and put it into the tube-like case. I did not want to put it on the ground b/c I did not want and blemishes on the poster, and I did not want any unecessay folding marks on it. It took me quite some time at the entrance to PPC to roll it. awkard, frustrating and clumsy. as soon as I arrived in the lab, i started to update my resume and print out the driving route for the genentech fair. it just so happened that travis stopped by, it was always delightful to talk to him, esp now pete is gone. around 4pm, i rushed out of the lab. at home, i fixed my hair and other stuff. by 4:30pm, i was on my way to the hotel. The fair was rather depressing, b/c a->it was targeted for the pfizer lay-off people, b-> as a phd student just graduated, i can only expected a postdoc position, however, I was advised that it is a good idea to submit resume to their website directly. I took a nap 6:20-8:20pm. after i woke up, i went to ccrb and felt really good afterwards. I drove back at 10pm. i called family and friends, layed out outfit, went to sleep at 2:30am. Saturday morning, i woke up at 7am and drove to the mini-symposium at 8:30am. It was a good experience. The first talk was good, I took a nap during the second one, I left to fetch poster half way through the third one, I skipped most part of the fourth one. I explained the poster to Kasper, talked to travis for a long time. His generosity and expertise just reminded me how much I missed the "science chat" ever since pete left. Christi was nice and she gave me good advice about making connections. It was somehow unexpected that she is so down-to-the-earth and so accessible. I realized that I was probably too shy, but I was learning step-by-step. plus a good work-out for two hours in ccrb. I finished up some work that I promised for jhp at the beginning of this week afterwards.

Nothing to regret, growing up is pain, cherish every moment present and live the life to its fullest.

Posted by renh at 01:38 AM | Comments (1)

March 07, 2007

jesus, etc

Artist/Band: Wilco
Lyrics for Song: Jesus, etc.
Lyrics for Album: Yankee Hotel Foxtrot

Jesus, don't cry
You can rely on me, honey
You can combine anything you want
I'll be around
You were right about the stars
Each one is a setting sun

Tall buildings shake
Voices escape singing sad sad songs
tuned to chords
Strung down your cheeks
Bitter melodies turning your orbit around

Don't cry
You can rely on me honey
You can come by any time you want
I'll be around
You were right about the stars
Each one is a setting sun

Tall buildings shake
Voices escape singing sad sad songs
tuned to chords
Strung down your cheeks
Bitter melodies turning your orbit around

Voices whine
Skyscrapers are scraping together
Your voice is smoking
Last cigarettes are all you can get
Turning your orbit around

Our love
Out of
Our love is all we have
Our love
Our love is all of God's money
Every one is a burning sun

Tall buildings shake
Voices escape singing sad sad songs
tuned to chords
Strung down your cheeks
Bitter melodies turning your orbit around

Voices whine
Skyscrapers are scraping together
Your voice is smoking
Last cigarettes are all you can get
Turning your orbit around

Last cigarettes are all you can get
Turning your orbit around

Posted by renh at 11:03 PM | Comments (0)

March 05, 2007

Mom dad email QQ

Mom and dad learned to use the computer and email.
They sent me emails.
I was very happy for them.
But when I saw the picture they took at home,
I felt the overwhelming sadness.
I don't know why.
I miss them.

"Be calm, be gentle, be patient to others."
that's the advice from my Dad.

Posted by renh at 01:20 PM | Comments (0)

upper body workout

I started the upper body exercises last weekend.
My performance is only about 60% as half a year ago.
I feel the pain in the muscle.
It keeps me awake,
but I feel good.
It's good to exercises again.

Posted by renh at 01:17 PM | Comments (0)

a good website

http://andersen.com.ua/english.html

A new student from Denmark came to the lab today. His origin reminded me of the tales of Han's Christian Andersen that I read when I was a kid. Some of his stories are so well-known, like the ugly duckling and the emperor's new suit. But, what has touched me deeply are some of his less well-known stories, like the toad, she was good for nothing and a leaf from heaven. When I first read those, I guess I was too young that I was not able to understand the meaning behind the stories. I thought they were boring. But I tried to read them again when I was in junior high or high school. I found they were such good stories, sad, but good. Today, I searched the web and got this website. It has links to a lot of the fairy tales. Maybe it is time to refresh my memory and read the english version.

I am having a hard time to finish the book, Marley and Me. It was interesting, but I am simply not motivated to read it. I was thinking about what could be the next book for me. I thought about suite francaise for a while, but could not decide. Now, since I have this website, maybe I'll do some light reading.

Posted by renh at 12:51 PM | Comments (0)

about her

Well no one told me about her
The way she lies
Well no one told me about her
How many people cried

But it’s too late to say you’re sorry
How would I know?
Why should I care?
Please don’t bother to find her
She’s not there

Well no one told me about her
Well no one told me about her
How many people cried

But it’s too late to say you’re sorry
How would I know?
Why should I care?
Please don’t bother trying to find her
She’s not there
She’s not there…

Posted by renh at 12:35 PM | Comments (0)

goodnight moon

There's a nail in the door
And there's glass on the lawn
Tacks on the floor
And the TV is on
And I always sleep with my guns when you're gone

There's a blade by the bed
And a phone in my hand
A dog on the floor
And some cash on the nightstand
When I'm all alone the dreaming stops
And I just can't stand

What should I do I'm just a little baby
What if the lights go out
And maybe and then the wind just starts to moan
Outside the door he followed me home

So goodnight moon
I want the sun
If it's not here soon
I might be done
No it won?t be too soon 'til I say goodnight moon

There's a shark in the pool
And a witch in the tree
A crazy old neighbor and he's been watching me
And there's footsteps loud and strong coming down the hall
Something's under the bed
Now it's out in the hedge
There's a big black crow sitting on my window ledge
And I hear something scratching through the wall

What should I do I'm just a little baby
What if the lights go out
And maybe and then the wind just starts to moan
Outside the door he followed me home
So goodnight moon
I want the sun
If it's not here soon
I might be done
No it won't be too soon 'til I say goodnight moon

Posted by renh at 12:33 PM | Comments (0)